Mystery Dream Date

There seems to be an influx of happy couples recently. Just to name a few, there are Heather and her boyfriend, Jon; Oscar and Michaela, my parents, Beyonce and Jay-Z. Happy couples are everywhere, which does not exactly make me jealous (I’m a lone-wolf and couples make me want to kill puppies), but got me thinking what I require of a potential boyfriend. So here it is, my picky list of all the qualities I desire most in a man.

Physical Attributes

• A head taller than me (according to Colleen Bott, this is the perfect height, and I agree)
• The ability to grow facial hair (this is part of the required manliness I will detail later)
• Eyelashes
• Few, preferably no, allergies
• Nice Hands! (so important!)
  
• Healthy (An overly buff gym-rat is no good, but neither is a couch potato)
• Has hair (sorry alopecia victims)
• hair must not be excessive in length
  

Characteristics

• Not a pansy: This is incredibly important and includes the following
• Does not shave legs (sorry swimmers and cyclists)
• Does not spend more time getting ready than I do
• Does not cry except in cases of tragedy and extreme joy (this extreme joy does not included weddings, but is exclusive to his own child being born or winning the lottery)
• Is not a gymnast (this would probably violate the head taller than me rule anyway)
• Eats meat
• Has more guy friends than "gal pals"
  
• Kills bugs (this is very necessary as I am allergic to bugs and cannot kill them)
  
• Played at least one sport in high school (cheerleading does not count)
• Can handle my sarcasm (probably the most important of all, as I can be mean)

• While being manly, however, this person must display characteristics of kindness, sensitivity, and caring, i.e. is not a chauvinist and does not make fun of me when I am upset and does not try to impress me with "manly stunts" such as guzzling down beer or scaling North Dining Hall.
  
• Must like my family
• Must like mammals (dogs, cats, people, etc.)
• Does not dislike Notre Dame (I don't expect everyone to love it, but you cannot dislike it)
• Is an orphan (no in-laws!) or has a family I really get along with
  
• Ambitious and goal-oriented (I'm no one's sugar mamma)
• Intelligent
• Let's me win in tennis occasionally
• Enjoys ice cream
• Financially secure (this is not really going to be an issue until I'm considering marriage (so in, like, 8 years) but I just thought I'd throw it in there)
• Does not consider country his favorite type of music
• Not a hillbilly
• Sense of humor--this is the most important quality of all. This person must be funny. I must laugh. And he must understand sarcasm and be able to take it, as well as dish it out. I haven't really decided yet if I could be with someone who's funnier than me because I really like being the funny one, but I'd take funnier than me over not funny at all (we don't want a repeat of sophomore year).

Talents: This is a list of acceptable talents for the perfect man. Possessing at least two is clutch. More than two is fantastic

• Speaks a foreign language
• Plays an instrument
• Plays a sport
• Cooks (bonus points!)
• Fixes computers
• Really good at Taboo or the Friends trivia game
• Good at gardening
• Snappy dresser
• Has several famous friends
• Can quote "Scrubs"
• Can pilot a plane
• Magical powers (as long as they are not used against me)
• Good at explaining things (this would come in handy, as I absolutely loathe explaining anything to anybody. Just ask Caitlin)

Since no one is perfect, these qualifications are more like guideline than rules. The only requirement I'm going to have to stick by is the sense of humor one. Seriously, be funny. Maybe I'll find a nice Italian guy to meet all of these requirements....Who am I kidding? Those mamma's boys cry when their soccer team loses.

Cap'n George Washington Crunch

Hello and welcome back to Blogalicious! This week, we’ll be examining the two main worlds of Elise’s summer—FYE and home.

FYE, the nut hut formerly known as Coconuts, is a place where the fine residents of Stow and Kent may purchase and sell CDs, DVDs, video games, and body jewelry. We’ve also got a few giant Johnny Depp standees, but I’m hoping those always remain in the store for me to gaze upon. Working at FYE is an easy job, mostly consisting of leaning against the register and shouting “What can I help ya find?!” over the obnoxiously repetitive R&B and Rap music that is a favorite of the FYE managers. There’s also free gum and occasionally, we get to watch a movie of the manager’s choice (either a horror or action flick or Eddie Murphy film, sometimes a combination of all three (Norbit)). My favorite manager left to work at Chapel Hill’s FYE (she invited me to work some shifts there as well, considering I’m getting anywhere from 4-20 hours a week at Stow’s FYE, but I declined, saying “I’m scared of Chapel Hill” which is entirely true). I get along with the new manager, but since being promoted to being head manager, she is getting somewhat power-hungry and very “by-the-book.” The few menial tasks I did have to make me feel like I had some sort of purpose have been taken away and replaced with “Work on customer service.” Every hour, about 2 customers come in, therefore, working on customer service is the equivalent to working on my basketball skills. It’s pointless. I can’t really blame my manager for doing this, since she is the new head manager and she is just going by the book (all associates should do is customer service—really), but if she is going to be so stringent with the rules, I wish she would also employ the rule of not talking about personal situations with employees. I do not want to hear about her recent break up, I do not want to hear about the chick she met on the Internet, and I do not want to hear about her night at the strip club. When she’s not talking about her personal life, she’s pointing out all the reasons why I am the whitest girl in Summit County. She didn’t really like my “catch the grape” dance move and deemed me too white to dance right. When she played a song on her cell phone to me and I didn’t know what it was, it was because I was white. And when I had never eaten collared greens or spent a night at the clubs in Cleveland, it’s because I’m a suburban, preppy, white girl. To all of this, I respond; “I go to Notre Dame, what do you expect?”

The best/worst part of working at FYE is the colorful cast of customers we get. There are a few regulars (at a CD store? Yes) including Myron, whom you might remember from last summer’s blog. Myron does not come into FYE as frequently as he used to because he got in a fight with one of the managers and the district manager called him and told him to stay away. He still stops by occasionally to ask a million questions, not buy anything, then tell me what he’s having for dinner (steak or that KFC bowl that looks like Colonel Sanders vomited in it). There’s also an odd family that I do feel sad for, as three of the four members have some sort of mental disability, the father being the one out of four. They come in about once a month, with the mother screaming at her children and the father calmly perusing the DVD aisle. Besides those regulars is the trainer from the gym next door who is so beefy, he can’t put is arms down; the thief from Wal-Mart who, every new-release Tuesday, brings in brand-new copies of the newest movies to sell, claiming he has watched all 25 of them in the 6 hours they have been on the shelves (he even goes so far as to give us a review of these movies); fat hillbillies in short shorts; the Asian guy who only buys porn; the creepy guy with the long beard who only buys Anime (and asked me why we don’t have a bigger selection of “anime smut”); the 30-something guy who buys way too many video games and has way too many Spiderman shirts for his age. There are probably more, but those are the most interesting regulars. From the fat hillbillies comes my favorite story of late. Two women and one dude come in one day to browse through FYE and talk about how things are so much cheaper at Wal-Mart. The one woman is short and round, but wouldn’t look so bad if she wasn’t wearing Nair-esque short shorts and sporting a tiny T-shirt. To top it off, she was looking at the body jewelry and telling my manager and me about her new belly-button piercing (my manager even got to see it! Thank goodness I had dodged down another aisle). As they were about to leave, the man came up to the counter and inquired about a pre-order he had made. “Yeah, I just, uh, wanted to know about that new Harry Potter movie that’s coming out. I put a dollar down on it, so I want to make sure it’ll come in on time.” I responded politely with, “Oh, did you order a movie we didn’t have in stock?” Hillbilly: “No, it’s that new movie. The one that’s coming out on the 21^st!” Me: “No, that’s the book. The book is what we were taking pre-orders on.” Smelly: “No! I ordered a movie! It’s the new movie I want!” Me: “The new movie is in theaters. The book is what’s coming out!” Idiot: “No, it’s a movie. Why would I want a book?” Me: Shrug and raised eyebrow. Him: “I’m going to Chapel Hill. They’ll know what I’m talking about!” His women-folk paid for their $1 body jewelry and left. I’m sure that man was quite disappointed when he received a book on July 21^st and didn’t know what to do with it, not knowing how to read.

Now onto the second world of my summer: Home. I am really enjoying being home this summer, maybe because I know I will be so far from it this fall and because this may be my last summer at home. Plus, I really get along with my family, especially when we have conversations like the following

Me: Is Cap’n Crunch a pirate?
Mom: In a strange, twisted sense of the word, yes.
Me: How does that work?
Mom: (exasperated by these questions coming from her 20-year old daughter) I’m not sure
Me: Keep in mind that he’s not actually a captain, but that he’s a cap’n with an apostrophe
Mom: Yes, of course.
Me: I guess he’s the Cap’n of cereal. So he’s a cereal pirate. Or is he a serial pirate?
Mom: I pirate conspiracy right in our grocery stores.
Me: Gosh darn you, General Mills!

Later, I proposed the same pirate question to my father. So my mother spoke first.

Mom: He’s not really a pirate, he's more like George Washington.

Me: .....what?

Mom: Because of his hat. George Washington had the same one

Me: Pirates had those hats, too.

Mom: No they didn't! Just George Washington...

Dad: (finally chiming in) He wasn't a pirate, he was the captain of a British war ship.

Me: Why British?

Dad: Ok, he was the captain of an American Navy Vessel.

Me: I was thinking he was the captain of cereal.

Dad: (considering this for a moment) Well, maybe.

Me: So could it be a pirate cereal ship?

Dad: No, because pirates are bad. They scare children

Me: Not all pirates are bad. And they're not always scary. Kids love those pirate movies

Dad: Yes, but they don't eat them [movies]. Kids need good things and pirates are bad so Cap'n Crunch can't be a pirate

I guess that answers that question. In other memorable family moments, I told my Dad that he danced like he had Downs Syndrome and he replied with "That's because I'm gettin' doooown!!"

My brother is funny is his innocence and interpretation of the world around him. This is what led him one day, while describing the mobile Deli he would one-day own, to say that his slogan would be like that commercial, "Mamma Mia! Pizza Pizza Meat-a-ball!" He was referring to the old commercial where the guy says "That's a spicy meat-a-ball." I, being the wonderfully caring sister that I am, corrected/insulted him. But I hope that mobile deli thing works out. That would be fantastic.

In the same car-ride, I mentioned that video on YouTube with the prisoners of that prison in the Philippines doing the thriller dance (you should really see it, it's incredible). After I was finished describing how the prisoners did such a perfect job recreating Michael Jackson's hit video, Alex chimed in with "Then they all had butt sex!" leading my parents to turn around inquisitively. Instead of telling him not to say things like that, my mom asks him to explain what butt-sex is, to both embarrass Alex and see if he actually knows what he's talking about. Turns out he kind of did, as he said, "It's a gay origy." Again, I corrected him with some name-calling and biting sarcasm to let him know the word is orgy, not origy. He's growing up so fast...

So that basically sums up my summer. It's been a good one, but if I have to work at FYE one more summer, I will go as nutty as the customers.

Creepers Love Me

Summer time and the livin's easy...
A little too easy, though. I actually miss being stressed. Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping for roughly 10 hours every night to wake up and lay outside in the sun until I'm golden brown and then come in to watch the Scrubs episodes I taped from that morning. It's a lovely existence, just not very meaningful and I guess I like the feeling of having a purpose. I am taking a class at Kent State (philosophy, ugh) and I am still working at FYE (I got a whopping 4 hours last week) so I'm being somewhat purposive. Though I'm pretty sure working at FYE does not do much good for humanity or myself. However, there is now free gum and I'm allowed to park right in front of the store instead of in the plaza parking lot. And that's where the perks end.
I started out the summer with an Akron Adventure with Colleen Bott. (The one-and-only Mike Peterson commented on this adventure with "whats awesome is akron looks a lot like akon. so when you say you have an akron adventure, it looks like an akon adventure, as if you were smacking lots of...thats." He really likes rap music and he's a gangsta) Colleen and I drove around Akron, stopping wherever we please. We ended up going to 10 different places in one afternoon, including the VDO (not a disease, but the Village Discount Outlet), Good Will (thrifting is key in AK-rowdy), Revival, Alladin's, some smoothie place, an old bookstore (I almost bough a book on cannibalisms, but refrained), West Point Market, a pet store with lots of cats sitting in one place and never moving (it was freaky), and Archbishop Hoban High School (where Mr. Anderson invited me to his History Spectacular 4th of July Celebration). Muchos good times. I really recommend that smoothie place. I'd tell you the name, but I forgot it, so you'll just have to look around Akron.
To add a little purpose to my lazy existence in St. Ow, I've been going to the gym religiously. I have muscles now. They are very small, but considering before they were non-existent, I'm pretty proud of myself. I always wear something Notre Dame to the gym, hoping one day someone will notice and say "Ahoy! Do you go to Notre Dame?" I just really want to talk about ND and I would love it if someone approached me with an Ahoy. But alas, I'm guessing that my Irish attire makes people think I am of St. Vincent St. Mary's high school, which is heinous.
Philosophy class at Kent State is almost over now (thank goodness) but I did manage to make a new friend the first day of class. We met at the bookstore as we were buying our books. The attraction was instant, he being tall, tan, and blue-eyed and me being bored and desperate. However, because he was attracted to me as well, he was crazy. I am a crazy magnet. I do not know how this happened. It's not like I'm a friendly person, so maybe I only attract crazies because these people are more persistent or something. In any case, the young gentleman turned out to be a 5th year senior philosophy major (as you can tell, my type of guy already), but is pursuing a career in music, though he has not played in public in 4 years. We have a winner! Since my crazy detector has not yet gone off or my inner crazy magnet is drawing me to him, when he offers to go on a walk around campus, I, of course, agree. During this walk, he talks my ear off about his philosophy of life, which is total crap. Apparently, he bears a greater burden than the rest of the world because he understands the universe better and, since everyone has takes care of him to the point where he doesn't have to worry about long-term employment, he feels a greater sense of loneliness than everyone else. He went on and on about the merits of organic food and the high he once got from eating an organic orange (I may have accidentally suggested that I, too, enjoy organic food, but really I meant that I eat Lean Cuisines). Oh, and he called himself a sexy giraffe. Not even kidding. And he has a hoop earring that makes him look like a pirate, but not exactly the Johnny Depp kind. Later on our walk, in the middle of telling me why his music is like a wave and some building on Kent State's campus, he says, "I don't think people hold hands enough." He then takes my hand, clasps it with both of his, and stares deeply into my eyes. As if this weren't enough, he places my hand on his chest and mutters something about a connection or herbal tea or something. So naturally, when he asks me out on a date, I say yes. Please, before you judge me and say that I am as crazy as the people I end up dating, allow me to explain myself. We were in the middle of Kent's campus when he asked. If I said no, he might have run away, leaving me lost in a campus full of hippies. Plus, I just don't know how to say no, apparently. I decided that we should meet at Starbucks after I got off work one Friday because I knew what time Starbucks closed and had some family members who worked there who could protect me. Rape whistle and Mace in hand, I went on my date. The strangest part was that it wasn't awful. He wasn't exaclty Normal McNormalson, but he wasn't as cracked out as before. It was actually a lovely evening, which totally threw me for a loop. What was I to think of him now? Should I give him a chance? Was the crazy guy thing a put on? Then he came to class one day wearing a sleeveless shirt. That settles that. This guy is history. (well, that, and he tried to give me a detailed account of how he would kiss me online one night. It did not seem appealing). I have since been ignoring him and he has finally started ignoring me back. So now my life is open to the next creeper. Bring 'em on.
Other than the above, I've been watching a lot of movies this summer. And by a lot I mean one I've never seen before each night. I'll give you a complete list later. Happy 4th of July, everyone!

Survey Says...

I've had some complaints about the lack of blog updates. For this I apologize. The two main complainers are Tomas and Metzger, who left me these messages on AIM:

dear elise,
my bed smells of girls...allright!
love,
Tomas
ps. haha, jk, that sounds sick and disgusting
pss. update your blog!

dear amish,
if you do not update your blog soon, i will not be friends with you anymore...this means no kangaroo scrotum for you.
love,
metzger

Note: Jess and I were in Tomas's bed. Tomas was not in Tomas's bed. Therefore, nothing skanky was going on. Though, Tomas is still a pimp. This one time, Caitlin and I went to the movies with Tomas and some other people and we didn't have money or something, so Tomas paid for our tickets and we kind of forgot to pay him back, so he kind of took us both on a date at the same time I guess.

Other Note: Metzger went to Australia and I made her promise to bring me back kangaroo scrotum, which I have wanted since junior year of high school. I really have no explanation for this

The main reason for my dissapearance from the blogosphere is that I've been super busy with the Mike Peterson Show, which is now, over. I will miss that goofy tall guy with his mutton chops and changing in the studio and blowin' up ya'lls and emo and stuff. Yeah. The last show rocked, despite a couple technical difficulties. Also, after making a montage of Mike's career as a late night talk show host, I was inspired to become a professional montage maker. Montages are always needed for American Idol shows or Flavor of Love reunions. This is my new goal in life--to become the best montager the world has ever known.
Classes are over, finals start next week, and I am almost half-way done with college. Holy crap, that is scary! What's even more frightening/exciting is that I'm going to be living in Rome in just a few short months! EEEEEEE!!!!!! This summer, I'm going to prepare by speaking Italian with old Italian men who live in North Hill in Akron and my mom is going to teach me how to make pasta. She has also insisted that I start drinking wine this summer, so that I am prepared to appreciate the fine products of the Italian vineyards. Whateva.
I went to Pig Toastal again this year. You may recall from a previous post that my experience at Pig Toastal last year ended with my special pink cup getting stolen. This year, I didn't even get a special cup because by the time I got there, they were all out! But, other adventures were to be had. Caitlin and I were waiting in the line to get into the party (yes, there was a line, because you had to get checked off a list by one of the bouncers) and we decided that we really had to pee. Nearby establishments had signs declaring that no public restroom use was permitted, so we spotted a nearby dental office and decided that we could use their bathroom. We opened the first door, no problem. The second door, however, was the issue. When I opened this UNLOCKED door, the building alarm went off, causing Caitlin and I to inconspicuously scream and run away. We panicked for a while about the cops identifying us via security cameras in the dental office or the cops coming to the dental office then driving down the street to bust up Pig Toastal, making the destruction of the biggest party of the year our fault. However, none of this happened and Caitlin and I proceeded to have a fabulous time, except for the horrific sunburn I got that I am still peeling from. Gross.

Other things I have not written about....Angela and I went on a sweet spring break to Floriday where we went to Disney World, Universal Studios, and Daytona Beach. This one time, we went to a beach and needed somewhere to change, but there were no public restrooms and we couldn't get into the bars, so we had to change in this really shady surf shack. I waited outside while Angela changed, and one of the shops "sales associates" was staring at a computer the whole time going "oooooh yeah. I love my job." When it was my turn to go into the bathroom and change, I checked for cameras. I didn't see any, but I'm not convinced that there were none. If you would like to know more about the trip, you should look at the pictures on my photobucket.

My Oma visited with my family this past weekend. She loves Notre Dame. She came wearing blue and gold. She's nuts. She was most impressed by the Dining Hall. She couldn't believe how much food there was. She would not approve of my starting every sentence with "she."

Recently, my facebook has had some relationship status activity. Don't get excited, I'm not really dating anyone. However, In the span of 24 hours, I went from being single, to an open relationship, to a relationship, to engaged, to married, to its complicated, and back to single. I've been busy. Barry Mills is the guy. He is a 59 1/2 year old bus driver from Australia. He is a real person, but Metzger controls his facebook. Barry's and my love runs as deep as the Outback is hot...which is very. Actually, maybe not, but whatever. The comments on my wall were pretty good.

I don't really want to rehash the past few months, because if you really care to know, you would have been talking to me during those months anyway. So instead of going over more of my life happenings, I'm going to fill out one of those annoyingly long surveys that asks ridiculous questions about my life that have no real significance. Enjoy!

Single or Taken: Single, though there has been some recent facebook activity with Barry Mills

Siblings: 1 younger brother, Alex

Eye color: brown

shoe size: 8 1/2

Height: 5' 5"
What are you wearing right now? sweatpants, my frosh-o t-shirt, leopard slippers. Hey, its finals week...almost

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FAVORITES

Kind of pants: ones that make my butt look good

Number: Depends on what I'm counting

animal: I like horses, though leopards are really pretty

Drink: juice, or water with lemon
Sport: to play--boxing, tennis to watch--speed walking
Month: July

Juice: cranberry (my girlfriend drinks cranberry juice when she's on her period. are you on your period or something?)
Favorite cartoon character: Angry Beavers, specifically Norbert

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Have You Ever...

Given anyone a bath: no....

Bungee Jumped?: no, but i might be up for that

Made yourself throw-up?: no, but after eating a lot, i sometimes find myself wishing for a vomitorium

Gone skinny dipping?: yep

Eaten a dog?: NO!

Loved someone so much it made you cry?: Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right? Have you ever? Brandy has

Broken a bone?: yes, my wrist

How?: Fell off my horse into a giant mud puddle

Played truth or dare?: duh, i had sleepovers growing up

Been on a plane?: yes

Came close to dying?: don't think so, but maybe i was and didn't realize it

Been in a sauna?: yes

been in a hotub?: yes, i have one at home!

Swam in the ocean?: yep

Cried in school?: one time in middle school during gym class, i got hit in the neck with an airborn hockey puck. It hurt like a mofo

Fell off your chair?: of course!

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call?: haha yeah who hasn't?

Saved IM conversations?: yes! I still have Caitlin's from when she and I were getting to know each other the summer before freshman year! awwww

Saved e-mails?: umm yeah

Used someone?: yeah, but everyone uses each other to a degree

Been cheated on?: Not to my knowledge


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What is...

Your good luck charm?: my family

New fav. song?: My Humps, the Alanis Morisette version

What is beside you?: my notebook for broadcast and cable class. I should be writing a paper right now

Last thing you ate?: trail mix. My grandma sends me a ton of it

What kind of shampoo/conditioner: Dove extra moisture
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Ever Had..

Chicken pox: yes

Sore Throat: yeah, hasn't everyone?

Stitches: yep, in my chin

Broken nose: no marcia brady moments for me

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Do You...

Believe in love at first sight?: no

Long distant relationships? i mean, if two people really want to go for it, then go ahead. But I'm not the type of girl to waste my time spending hours on the phone or online talking to someone who I'll probably end up never speaking to again. Sorry, that was pessimistic, but the long distance thing just isn't worth it.

Like school?: Yes! official nerd here

Who was the last person that called you?: TOMAS! Hey! You got mentioned in my blog!

last person you slow danced with?: Wow, I don't know...actually, I think the answer is Mark Bond hahaha. Oh no, I haven't slow danced since before Christmas!

you smile the most?: no, I'm emo, or perhaps, ElisEmo

Do you like filling these out: soooo much

Do you have glasses or contact lenses?: both

Do you like yourself: most of the time

Do you get along with your family?: I adore my family!
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Are You...

Obsessive Compulsive? no


Final Questions:

What did you do yesterday: Tuesday...hmmm...I went to class, watched Buffy with Caitlin, ate dinner with Oscar, did work, nothing to exciting.

Gotten any awards?: I'm a Notre Dame student...of course I got semi-meaningless overachiever awards haha

What car/truck do you wish to have?: A Lotus Elise/Ford Splash

Where do you want to get married?: Ohio, because its home....and my whole family lives there and I'm not flying everyone out to some island or whatever

Good driver?: ummmmm.....One time I left Castle Point to go back to campus and I somehow ended up back at Castle Point a half hour later. And senior year of high school, I got lost going to school (it was my first time driving there by myself, though)

Have a lava lamp?: Yes! it's purple!

how many remote controls are in your house?: far too many

When you last showered?:this morning

Scary or Funny Movies?: Funny!

Chocolate or Vanilla?: chocolate fo sho

Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper?: gross neither

Skiing or Boarding?: i've never skiid and I don't know what boarding is

Summer or winter?: SUMMER

Silver or Gold?: All that glitters is gold

Diamond or pearl?: Diamonds are a girls best friend (my mother made me memorize this song when I was little and had me perform it on command. Because of this, I will have to marry someone very wealthy)

Sprite or 7up?: 7up yours

Coffee or sweet tea?: coffeeeeee

Phone or in person?: In person of course, unless the person I'm talking to has chronic bad breath

Are you oldest, middle or youngest?: Oldest and wisest

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Today did you...

1. Talk to some one you like: yes!

2. Buy something: coffee, even though I'm on the edge of no flex points

3. Get sick?: nope

8. Talked to an ex?: i don't really do that...

9. Miss someone?: every day
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Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed?: me....and when I woke up there was a construction worker literally right outside my window. So creepy!

11. Saw/heard you cry?: Mike Peterson because he found out that I can cry on cue and filmed me while he forced me to cry

12. Made you cry?: See above response. Peterson is nuts

13. Went to the movies with?: Tomas, Caitlin, Robbie, some other folks

15. Said "I Love You"?: my mom
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16. Ever been in a fight with your pet?: what the hell? no! wait...yes...one time, my horse closelined me (ran under a tree that he could clear but I could not, so I hit the branch and fell off) I hit him and refused to give him treats, but he was cute, so I gave him some apples anyway. I could never stay mad at Leo.

18. Been to Mexico?: nah uh

19. Been to Canada?: yep

20. Been to Europe?: No, but I'll be living there come August (holy crap!)
________________________________________________

Random.....

21. Do you have a crush on someone right now: kind of, I don't really have crushes, I have distractions

22. What book are you reading now?: The Vampire Lestat

23. Best feeling in the world?: making someone laugh or hugs. Making someone laugh while hugging them might not be ideal, however

24. Future kids' names?: Lucia and Cyrus (my kids will get made fun of sooooo much)

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: I have a penguin and 2 dogs here. At home, I have way more. There's always a lot of animals in my bed

26. What's under your bed?: Boxes of stuff

27. Favorite sports to watch?: gymnastics or figure skating or equestrian or something girly like that

28. Favorite Locations?: Notre Dame's campus, my house, St. John's in the virgin islands, Epcot in Disney World

29. Piercing/Tattoos?: ears pierced, belly button pierced, and my mom and I are getting tattoos when she turns 50 (which, for her sake in case she ever reads this, is not for a very very very long time)

30. What are you most scared of right now?: o man, right this minute? failing exams. Overall? That's far too complex

31. Who do you really hate?: John Minser for putting this survey on his facebook, thus making me copy it and waste oodles of time filling it out. Just kidding. I don't really really hate anyone

32. Do you have a job?: I work as a monitor in the study room in the CoMo and over the summer I work at the retailer formerly known as Coconuts, FYE

33. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with: I had a crush on Spike from Buffy. I didn't really have a chance with him

34. Are you lonely right now?: I am alone, but I am not lonely

38. Song that's stuck in your head right now?: Candle in the Wind (this is indirectly Mike Peterson's fault)

39. Have you ever played strip poker?: yes

40. Have you ever been beaten up?: I box, does that count?

42. Have you ever been on radio/TV?: ooooooo yeah. NDTV, baby!

44. Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed you?: of course
___________________________________________

Random...

What's the first things you notice about the opposite sex?: looks, more specifically, face. *Note to John Minser--there is no way you can first notice wit about the opposite sex. First notice? Really? Upon just meeting them? You are WRONG.

Your Favorite Food?: I like ice cream

Hair color?: brown, occasionally red or fuscia or purple

Are you too shy to ask someone out?: yeah

Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?: i don't like popcorn

Dogs or cats?: both! i love animals

Favorite Flower?: hyacinths...they are odd and smell good, just like me

Have you ever fired a gun?: a BB gun at an aluminum can in my backyard

Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car?: If I'm going somewhere far away, yes

How many pillows do you sleep with?: 1

If Only My Hair Was As Pretty

It turns out that some fellow MPSers (namely Oscar and Mike Peterson) read my blog occasionally. Oscar's reaction was wanting to know who "Mr. Secret", mentioned in the last post, was. Ironically, MPS writers are the exact people I was trying to keep this secret from. Mike's reaction to my blog was "I would never write the stuff about my life that you write about yours." So Mike pretty much thinks I'm a blog slut, because I put it all out there. Mike's blog would look something like this:
Hey kids! I like liberal politics. I really like las cosas espanolas. My hair is SO PRETTY today! Watch the Mike Peterson Show!
Ok, Mike's blog would probably be a lot deeper than that and a lot less shallow than mine, but that is a semi-accurate summary.
Anyway, so Oscar kept bugging me about "Mr. Secret" (or Mr. E...get it? Mystery? no? ok) but I refused to tell. Then Mike saw Mr. Secret and I in the dining hall together on Valentine's day. Shoot. I tried walking past Mike, but Mr. Secret stopped to chat. Boys are dumb. Its not that I care that people know, its just that I knew what would happen when they found out and I was right. Mike made fun of me. A lot. I would make fun of me, too, if I were him. But I'm not him. My hair isn't that awesome. Mike told Oscar and they both laughed and laughed and laughed. Its not like anything real is going on anyway. He's anti-commitment and I'm dating the Mike Peterson Show (and as Oscar pointed out, I'm anti-commitment, too, but that's only because I'm busy). So the jigg's up, the cat's out of the bag, etc. Moving on...
The Legends show was amazing, though the week leading up to it was hell. I had tonsillitis, 2 exams, a video production project, and countless hours of editing. But when I saw the final show and everything came together, it was amazing. Thanks to all who came to the show! To those who didn't, we're probably not speaking anymore. Just kidding. Kind of.
The Bengal Bouts started yesterday and I was on sweaty boy/gear duty. The bouts are always cool to watch, but they make me jealous because girls boxing gets only a small fraction of the turnout and not even close to the amount of hype. Oh well, I won't even be here for boxing next year.
Why won't I be here, you might ask? Because in the fall semester....
I'M GOING TO ROME!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot wait! I'm so incredibly excited! WOOT!

I'll end on that happy note.

Someone, please rip my tonsills out

It's been a while.
Between November and now, a lot has happened (obviously--its been 4 months!). I fought in the bouts again. I lost in a split decision, though I still think I should have won. My cornerwoman was Adria, who almost went pro in boxing. She thought I should have won. I'll go with her judgement call.
I got some very big news and found out that I will be the new host of the Mike Peterson Show once Mike Peterson graduates. I've already started as headwriter (time consuming and somewhat stressful, but so much fun--I mean, I'm making comedy!). So starting in the fall, I will be the host of my own TV show! Hooray! I think I might call it "The Mike Peterson Show with Elise Yahner." Oscar was made producer of the show, so he shares half the power. His job is probably more important and he's so good at it. Together, we make a super team of comedy management.
Christmas break was lovely. I was so ready to go home, but oddly, I was not ready to go back to school when the time came. I really enjoy just being home and spending time with my family. I'm such a nerd.
Over break I went on a service trip called Urban Plunge where I spent time with the homeless in Pittsburgh. It was a good trip, and Pittsburgh is a beautiful city.
While at the orthodontist over break, the doctor, an OSU grad, made a point of telling me a joke while there were metal utensils in my mouth, making it impossible for me to retort. The joke was "What do Notre Dame and marijuana have in common? They both get smoked in bowls." Oh Dr. Belli, your wit is as sharp as the dental hygenists fake talon-like nails.
Notre Dame did lose the bowl game, but that same day, I turned 20. I was actually pretty depressed about turning 20. I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm a 20-something. I'm adult-like. If I do something cool like write a book or win the Nobel Prize, it won't be as impressive. People won't be like "You were only 19?? Wow!" I'll just be another 20-something. Good thing I have no plans to win the Nobel Prize. The best part of my birthday was when Kelly called me exactly at midnight when it change to my birthday and told me to look up my name on YouTube. Its the coolest thing ever. You should check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVjT5WgcdW0
Over break, I went back to Coconuts (which is now FYE) to work. Bob is gone, Lindsey is gone, John is gone...it was all new people. I had to work all day on Christmas Eve, which kind of sucked, but it ended up not being too bad. Call me crazy, but I kind of enjoyed working at the Nut Hut this time. Jen, the manager, really likes me and let me play the first five NOW CDs and dance around the store. You can't go wrong with NOW.
This semester is going pretty well. Between NDTV and my video production class, I'm working with a camera a lot, which is pretty sweet. I've got an internship with Crocs, those really ugly shoes, for the semester. I get a free pair of those ugly shoes. Hooray. I should find out soon if I got into the Rome study abroad program. Until then, I'll be watching the mailbox like a hawk. There's also been a bit of drama this semester with some boys. I can't really talk about that here, because that would be rude, but the stalker is way out of the picture and I have a new thing going on that is kind of a secret. Scandalous!
This Thursday, the Mike Peterson Show is going to be live at Legends at 10:00. You should go. It's going to be funny. At the last Legends show, there was this creepy guy who was very intent on singing karaoke. He kept asking me and the other writers if we knew if it was Karaoke night. Every time we brought out a piece of camera equipment, he said "Is that the karaoke machine?" It was a little heartbreaking to have to tell him no each time. He stayed for the show, but only because he thought there would be karaoke afterwards. There was never any karaoke and I do not know if there ever has been karaoke at Legends. I hope that guy got to sing something eventually.
Last night, some writers and I went to see Jim Gaffigan's Beyond the Pale comedy tour. It was hilarious and we got to meet him afterwards. We ask him to sign something for MPS but instead he wrote "I love the Mike Peterson." No "show" at the end. I think this made it better.
This was kind of a lame recap of the last 4 months of my life. I'm pretty sure its been more interesting than what I've written here, but I could be wrong. The only reason I'm updating right now anyway is because I have a fever and tonsillitis, which sucks because I was supposed to film the Ben Kweller concert tonight. Oh well, let's just hope I'm better for the PE formal tomorrow!

Dead People Costumes

First off, I would just like everyone to know that the comment from "Sal" waseah not actually from the real Sal. That would have been mortifying.

For Halloween I was a vampirate, which is a cross between a vampire and a pirate. I thought it was clever, but most people just thought I was confused and asked why I was wearing a cape and an eye patch. Lauren, my cousin, just thought I was a dirty pirate hooker, which in some ways, is a more hilarious costume than vampirate. Though I can't really compete with her "Dagolicious" costume--a play on the Flavor of Love contestants. Did anyone see the reunion show? New York is getting her own dating show! What a ho!

I was sitting in computer class the other day, which is what I usually do, considering it is best to operate a computer from a sitting position as opposed to a standing or dancing etc. one. Anyway, before class starts, my two professors (I have two for this class because the main one doesn't really know what he's doing) start talking about kittens. Professor #1 says "I have a friend who was trying to sell a litter of kittens. She had a guy call and say he'd buy the whole litter." Professor # 2 "Oh, did you tell her?" Professor #1 "Oh yeah. I told her, don't sell those kittens to him. He's just going to feed them to his snake. And you know what? She called him on it and that's exactly what he was going to do." WHAT?! People buy entire litters of kittens to feed to their snakes!? And that was the only thing I learned in class that day.

An Italian film about terrorism and Aldo Moro called "Buongiorno, notte" (Good morning, night) was playing on campus so some of my Italian class friends and I decided to go. It was a pretty good film. Italian cinema is all about realism, so it can be a little dry, but it is good. Anyway, we were leaving the DPAC and talking about Aldo Moro when this older guy comes up to us and says, "Yeah, I was studying abroad through the St. Mary's program when all that stuff was going on." We were all impressed and asked him to tell us more. "I lived just a few streets away from where they found his body in the trunk of a car. It was crazy." We were amazed with the historically significant experience this man had, until he said the nex thing. "And it was awesome because I went to a dead-people themed costume party and won best costume because I dressed up like Aldo Moro. I just put a bunch of bullet holes in myself and climbed in the back of a trunk. It was awesome!" When we all just stared at him, he sauntered away, leaving us a tad creeped out.

Speaking of Italian things, I forgot to mention this in my blog, but a few weeks ago, my friend Heather and I got an e-mail from my Italian professor saying that our incessant talking was disturbing class and we are not allowed to sit next to each other. Here's the email. Keep in mind that the professor had never said anything to either of us indicating that we were disturbing class and that we really weren't talking very much at all. The email had the subject heading of "basta!" which means "enough!"
Care studentesse:

Ever since the beginning of the semester, you two have made a point to sit close
to one another (in the back row), and have seized many opportunities to whisper
and giggle amongst yourselves, almost every time I take my eyes off of you for
a few seconds.

I struggle to believe that you really consider this to be appropriate behavior.
If you have something to say that is relevant to our class, raise your hand and
do so out loud. If not, follow your classmates' example by paying attention and
not speaking (at any volume) when others are saying something.

As much as I want you to get a good grade in our class, if these kinds of
behaviors don't stop immediately and permanently, I guarantee you that you will
not.

You can start by not sitting next to or close to each other, and by refraining
from any action that could be considered distracting, disruptive, and generally
inappropriate for the classroom.

If you feel that I'm being unfair, I encourage you to take it up with the
Italian program director: Prof. Colleen Ryan-Scheutz, by e-mailing her at
ryan.104@nd.edu

If you see my point, show it with your actions and behavior.


Crazy, right? The professor sent this email to us the morning before he left town for a week, so we couldn't even say anything to him. We did end up talking to him and apologizing, though stating that we did not know we were causing a problem. He confessed that this email was a bad way to go about handling things, but another student in the class had emailed him saying that other students were distracting him/her and he/she couldn't focus. Now it's just a matter of who that student is so we can give him/her mean looks. It's only a class of 12 students. My bets are on the kid who responds to every question by running his hands through his hair and grunting "Ho dimenticato" (I forget).