You're Gonna Cry

I'm not going to apologize for not having a blog in a while because
a) I have already personally apologized for this to Metzger
b) I've been busy
c) Though I've been busy, I have not been all that interesting

However, I did just get my nose pierced. This event was supposed to be a part of a larger "hard core" day, involving sky diving and...well I guess that's the only other hard core thing, but sky diving is pretty intense. The weather did not permit skydiving, so I got my nose pierced instead. I went with Jess and Lora (who was getting her ears pierced for the first time). We got to the first place and everyone was leaving. A big burly man stopped us at the door and said they were closing. I had called earlier that day and they said they were open until 10, but apparently, they were all headed out to a concert. I asked the bear man where another piercing place might be and he said, "There's a joint in a strip mall down the road across from the Big Lots." Perfect.
We got back in our cars and drove all the way to Michigan (10 minutes down the road) to find the place. It was a little sketch ball, but what tattoo/piercing place isn't? We walk in and tell the guy chillin' out in the front that we need a nose piercing and an ear piercing. As we're waiting for things to be ready, Jess politely asks guy in front how many tattoos he has. He has over 50, and pulls down his lower lip to reveal the word "poop" tattooed on the inside. He says he got it to match the tattoo on his knuckles, which says "Turd" but when he puts his fist together it says "Basturd." This gentleman is obviously a classy fellow obsessed with excrement. I ask the young man about how long it takes for a nose piercing to heal and he replies, in a disgusted voice, "Well I don't know! Maybe some months or a couple weeks or whatever." Fantastic.
A hole-y man named Pedro invites us to the back of the shop where we will be pierced. Since it is near closing time, everyone in the place gathers around to watch the procedure. I decide to go first and ask Pedro how much this will hurt. He says, "Well, you're gonna cry." Ha! Pedro does not know how tough I am! "No really," Pedro says. "You automatically tear up because it hits your sinuses." Oh.
Pedro and his gang are a classy bunch and as he swabs the inside of my nose with a q-tip, he discusses an earlier even that day when a few young ladies came in asking to take photos of them giving the men of the shop blow jobs. Then the dude with the fresh tattoo (and a swollen arm around it) started telling me that I looked hot. I began to wonder about my chances of getting AIDS from this piercing, but before I knew it, there was a needle through my nose. It hurt for a second, then it was fine...or at least I thought it was fine. I couldn't tell, but apparently I was bleeding a lot. Pedro said, "Wow, I've never seen anyone bleed that much before. You should go into the bathroom and clean that off." I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. Pedro doesn't like the sight of blood, apparently, which is odd coming from a man with a giant spike coming out of his lip, but he sent me away anyway until the bleeding stopped.
Lora was up next to get a standard ear piercing. Pedro was confused and kept trying to convince Lora to get something more daring as her first piercing, but no, the lobes are just fine, thank you. Pedro explained to Lora that he did not like to use a piercing gun, but instead did it the old fashioned way with a needle and a cork. This way, instead of just pushing the flesh out of the way, a piece of flesh is actually removed. This did not make anyone except Pedro excited. Lora braved through the flesh removal, creepy arm tattoo man gave some parting words of weirdness, we paid for our new bling, and left. It was a pretty good day.
I only told my brother about my piercing, so when my parents came to pick me up for summer, this is what happened after the initial friendly greetings and hugs...
Mom: It's so great to see you! It's been so--wait a second. What is that? Noooooo. You didn't! WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO??? Scott! Look at our daughter!
Dad: Oh yeah, I figured she did that
Mom: You DID???
Dad: Yeah, why are you so surprised? Didn't you go with her to get her hair cut short?
Mom: Not her HAIR!!! Look at her face!
Dad: Oh geez....mothers' day is going to be fun

Incidentally, none of the grandparents even noticed on mothers' day. Hooray!

I have a few more stories to tell from this past semester, and I'll hopefully have time to write about them in the next couple of weeks. Topics to look forward to:
Men of Spring Semester 2008
My Interview with BJ Novak
Internships
Post-Feminism
And so much more! (or maybe not...)