Breathless

Vail takes your breath away. Literally. It’s at elevation 8,150 feet. I’ve been here for 5 days and I still get winded walking up stairs. This does not bode well, considering that the main activity in Vail is physical activity. Everyone wants to go kayaking, hiking, camping, mountain biking, etc. I’m kind of a city girl. Sure, I like taking a walk and a leisurely bike ride is nice, but I am not hard core outdoorsy and all. I don’t think I really fit in here. I wear Rainbows, Coloradans wear Tevas. I work out on an elliptical, Coloradans work out on a mountain. I hate snow, they love snow. I eat whatever, they eat organic. In general, the people here are much more earthy.

My dad and I left on Friday and got to Vail on Monday. I thought the road trip would be boring and horribly long, but it was actually a really good time. Kansas wasn’t even dull. Sure, it was long and flat and there were lots of cows, but we dodged a tornado—that and it was the state with the best billboards. My favorite one was the sign advertising the “world’s largest prairie dog” and a “6-legged steer.” We decided to stop at the exit for this natural miracle and we did indeed see “Prairie Dog Land” but it was a trailer with a bunch of cars from Arkansas in front. Across the street was the truck stop/steakhouse “Colonial Steaks.” We decided to stay in the car and get back on the highway. I like sketch, but I don’t like being kidnapped in a trailer with a giant prairie dog.

My first impression of Vail was not all that fantastic. Sure, the mountains are beautiful and its very scenic, but I got kind of sick the first few days, the town is empty, and the house is very…lived in. Of course, I eventually will get better, more people will show up in June, and the house can…well, that’s kind of unfixable. The house is constantly being lived in, though by different people as the interns are cycled out each semester. There are pots on the stove with crusty food left in them, furniture duct taped together, and sparse kitchen supplies (as in meat tenderizer, but no salt and five skillets but no colander). I was excited to get the queen sized bed, but then I realized that it’s not actually a bed, but 2 mattresses piled on the floor. I went to Wal-Mart and bought some sheets today since all I was provided was a questionable comforter.

The work is fine. The station I work for is in its off-season as well, so I don’t really have a set schedule or job. I just kind of show up at 10 and work until whenever they run out of stuff for me to do. Today, I drove to another town to pick up a tiny sample of felt from a sign design store. I’ve gotten to do some more filmy and editing type stuff as well, but so far nothing has been new. The station reminds me of NDtv times 2—it’s bigger, but still loose in organization and casual. I guess that’s good, but hopefully things will be more professional once they start their regular season.

Vail is kind of tough to adjust to. I know, you probably don’t believe me or think I am a total pansy for not being able to adjust to a “mountain paradise.” But it is pretty lonely and I feel kind of like I’ve been banished to Siberia for the summer. There are 4 boys to every girl in Vail. These sound like favorable odds, but I miss hanging out with girls. I have no one to go see the Sex and the City movie with and I’ve been banished to my room since the boys are playing video games and watching sports downstairs. I could try to be that outdoorsy, granola, sports-loving, alphabet-belching, video-gaming kind of girl, but that’s just not me. We’ll see how this goes…

Here is a song that describes my experiences and emotions in Vail thus far:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Icv6DgZ-9O4

The Lemonade Was Clutch

In late April, a glorious event occurred at the University of Notre Dame--BJ Novak, of The Office fame, came to Notre Dame to do stand-up. Before I heard that this was going to happen, I was a casual fan of The Office and, by extension, Novak. However, once I heard that this beautiful and talented man would be gracing my campus with his presence, I became a super-fan. I may have gone a little overboard with the internet stalking/researching him, but it was all for the betterment of my career (and because I'm, like, totally in love with him omgzzz!!!). You see, my plan was to get an interview with BJ Novak for NDtv and then convince him to give me a job on The Office and then date me. How was I going to do this? Well, my buddy Pat works in SUB (student union board) and is in charge of scheduling comedians, hence he gets to take BJ Novak to dinner and make sure he is cozy and awesome. However, Pat failed in his own awesomeness and refused/wasn't able to get me an interview with BJ Novak. Actually, Novak refused any interviews with any students. After trying to figure out various other ways to meet BJ Novak, the only thing I ended up with was an imaginary interview. Here's how it went:

Elise sneaks backstage of Washington Hall through the vents from the NDtv studio to mainstage. The front door probably would have been easier, but literally dropping in on BJ Novak is much more impressive. Novak is shocked, but Elise offers him a lemonade Vitamin Water, which the thirsty Novak graciously accepts.

Novak: This lemonade is great! I was about to kick you out or yell for security, but I can see that you are both helpful and attractive and you look as if you might be intelligent as well, so I will allow you to stay.
Elise: Why thank you Mr. Novak
Novak: Please, call me BJ. And what is your name, fair maiden?
Elise: Elise
Novak: Cool name.
Elise: Thanks, I got it from my mamma
awkward silence at failed pun...
Elise: Anyway, I was hoping I could ask you a few questions before your show
Novak: Well the show is about to start...aww what the heck, I know I said no interviews before but that's just so I don't have to deal with ugly people.
Elise: That's very understandable. I was just wondering how you got started with the Office. I know that you went to Harvard and then went on to do stand up in LA and worked on Punk'd and you also grew up with Jon Kracinski.
Novak: Wow, someone's done their homework
Elise: It's amazing what you can do with Wikipedia
both chuckle
Novak: Yeah, it was really just a matter of being at the right place at the right time. Follow your dreams!
Elise: Cool. What do you think is the future of the sitcom? Some say its dying, with the 3 camera format being antiquated and shows like The Office and 30 Rock developing a new style and sense of humor.
Novak: I think the future of the sitcom is a question of the future of television itself. Television used to be a bunch of executives telling consumers what they want, but now, audiences are really starting to talk back to their televisions. Fandom is so much more interactive and a television show has to be so much more than just a weekly program. With The Office, for example, there are loads of fan made sites and the NBC site has a lot of interactive things for fans. I guess I'm kind of deviating from your original question, but I don't think that 3 camera sitcoms are dying. I mean, 2 and a half men is the number one show on television right now, and that's as basic as you get. It's shows like 30 Rock and The Office that struggle a bit at first and really only end up with a cult following rather than a mass audience.
Elise: Yeah I definitely see what your saying, especially the part about fandom. Fan participation is almost essential with television today. Fans need to do their research to keep up on all the little jokes within The Office that get carried from season to season and executives need to pay attention to forums and message boards to get more specific audience reactions aside from ratings.
Novak: Exactly. I was right about you being intelligent. What kind of career are you pursuing?
Elise: I'd like to work in television, not as an actor, but more like a producer or an editor or a writer.
Novak: Well, would you like a job with NBC this summer?
Elise: Would I!? Oh yes! I would love that!
Novak: Great! I will be sure to get you a job! A really great job! One that pays!
Elise: Goody!!!
Novak: Well, I'd better get on that stage now. Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Elise: You know, just hanging out, being cool.
Novak: Sweet, well, I'm going to need someone to show me the cool places in town tonight, so would you be my date?
Elise: YES!
Novak: Perfect, give me a call, here's my number.
Elise: Thanks! I can't wait! Break a leg!
Novak: I always do
BJ Novak walks out onto stage to roaring applause and begins his performance. Elise makes her way out into the audience and begins planning her night with BJ at the coolest bar in town--The Backer.

That is what would have happened had I been able to find the vent leading from the NDtv studio to backstage. The lemonade was really clutch in that situation. So I guess I'll just have to make it in this crazy world of television on my own, without the help of any sitcom stars. It turns out that BJ Novak went the cheerleader house that night. One of my friends was called to come over to join in the party, but his phone is old and dumb and did not get the call. Ah well, so it goes. I'm over that celebrity crush anyway. Now, I'm crushing on the guy who plays Dexter...

Boy Crazy

I did a lot of things this semester. I cut about 9 inches of my hair off, causing people to ask if I had donated to Locks of Love, which led to me to sheepishly shake my head and reveal my selfishness in not waiting 2 more months so I could have the required amount of hair. I also started as host of Late Night ND and successfully produced 8 episodes (this all went a lot better than I had hoped, thanks to the awesome writers). I guess I took some classes, too, and did normal college things like go to bars and hang out with friends. And I guess I dated some people, too, but of course, since this is me we're talking about, these were not normal or typical dates. I'll change the names to be nice and I'll leave out a few of the boys who, well, just weren't that interesting or were actually nice to me.
First, there was Bob. Back in Rome, I was going through my list of facebook friends, trying to decide who I would date next semester. I picked Bob, a guy I had a crush on back in spring semester 2007. Somehow, through facebook messaging and eventual phone calls, Bob and I ended up hanging out. Yeah, I'm that good (or that weird that I plan this so far in advance). My plan for 2008 was to date a nice, normal guy, since it seemed to be my trend to date weirdos and creepers. It seemed I had hit the normal jackpot with Bob. But too much of an ordinary thing is, well, ordinary. Poor Bob really was a nice guy. He was sweet, cute, normal, boring, bland, from Ohio. Yeah, this wasn't working out. After a particularly average date with Bob, we went back to his dorm room to hang out. I thought to myself, "Alright, you made it through a dinner composed of long awkward pauses, at least get something out of this. Maybe he's a good kisser." So we're sitting there, watching TV, making awkward conversation about nothing, hitting awkward pause after awkward pause, and he is not making a single move. I can't take it anymore, so I say "Hey, you know what I hate? Awkward pauses." "Yeah, me too," says Bob. "What do we do about those?" I respond, "Well, I figure we have 2 options. Either we can keep on stumbling through boring small talk, or you could just kiss me. Personally, I'd prefer the latter of the options, but if that's not what you're into, I can just leave." So the emasculated Bob leaned in for a kiss. Nope, bad kisser. After about 5 seconds of that nonsense, I suggested we watch some Office DVDs instead. I guess planning ahead doesn't always lead to success.
Then there was Paul. I met Paul at an SYR (a semi-formal dance for all you non-ND folk--yes, I know, it's kind of weird). Paul was the complete opposite of Bob--Paul was completely insane. After Bob I thought that maybe normal isn't what I need, maybe I do need the crazy, but the right kind. Paul was definitely some kind of crazy, I just didn't know if he was right. He was fun, and a little violent, since he literally threw me while dancing with me, but he was cute and really funny. Funny is clutch. After the dance, all our friends went home, and we stayed and talked for a couple hours. Paul walked me home and gave me a sweet kiss before running away. Goofy, but sweet. I had a good feeling about him.
Then the fun crazy started to turn into freakin' weird. I heard a rumor that Paul did not use shampoo. Ever. I figured this must be a rumor until Paul admitted this to me without my prompting. Apparently, its his signature, to not wash his hair. It turns out that its also his signature to not only throw girls whilst dancing, but to also trip them, pull their hair, push them, etc during any activity at any time of day. It quickly became clear to me that Paul was immediately charming and progressively obnoxious because he was five years old. And as for the "sweet, nice" kiss at the end of the night--this became a raspberry on my face before a good laugh and attempt at tripping me. That's right, he raspberried my face. Paul is certainly the wrong type of weird for me.
There were a couple repeats this semester, too. Shawn, the guy I dated fall 2006 who would call me 7 times a day, made a brief appearance. He's the bartender at the Backer (my favorite South Bend bar) and saw me one night and threw a lime at me. Charming. He texted me with "U look cute tonite...I know u aren't looking 4 a relationship, but if u ever want to hang out, give me a call..." He found me 5 minutes later to make sure I had gotten the text. Then his gal pal approached me in the bathroom to ask what I thought of him. Yikes, this guy hasn't changed a bit.
This isn't so much of a repeat, but crazy guy from my summer course at Kent State randomly wrote on my wall, saying "i think its too bad that our evaluations of the world are so different, otherwise I'd so be into you!" Darn it! Why can't I change my opinions of the world so that I see music in buildings on KSU's campus or so that I find "sexy giraffe" a valid self-description??? I responded to his post by saying that variety is the spice of life and left it at that.
There were some other boys from this semester, but they are either not worth talking about (i.e. Clayton, the law student from the Backer who asked me to go home with him after 5 minutes of conversation), are actually very mean and don't even deserve the time it takes to write about them (Roma ladies and PE chicks, you know), or are too nice to deface in this blog (even though you don't even read it). I know, I'm not living the crazy life. I don't exactly have the makings of a saucy Carrie Bradshaw column going on here. But keep in mind that I do go to Notre Dame, we do have parietals, and I'm not telling you everything. On the one hand, I hope to find a great guy who is that perfect balance of normal and crazy, but on the other hand, I hope to keep attracting the weirdos so I can tally up the experiences and relay the stories.

You're Gonna Cry

I'm not going to apologize for not having a blog in a while because
a) I have already personally apologized for this to Metzger
b) I've been busy
c) Though I've been busy, I have not been all that interesting

However, I did just get my nose pierced. This event was supposed to be a part of a larger "hard core" day, involving sky diving and...well I guess that's the only other hard core thing, but sky diving is pretty intense. The weather did not permit skydiving, so I got my nose pierced instead. I went with Jess and Lora (who was getting her ears pierced for the first time). We got to the first place and everyone was leaving. A big burly man stopped us at the door and said they were closing. I had called earlier that day and they said they were open until 10, but apparently, they were all headed out to a concert. I asked the bear man where another piercing place might be and he said, "There's a joint in a strip mall down the road across from the Big Lots." Perfect.
We got back in our cars and drove all the way to Michigan (10 minutes down the road) to find the place. It was a little sketch ball, but what tattoo/piercing place isn't? We walk in and tell the guy chillin' out in the front that we need a nose piercing and an ear piercing. As we're waiting for things to be ready, Jess politely asks guy in front how many tattoos he has. He has over 50, and pulls down his lower lip to reveal the word "poop" tattooed on the inside. He says he got it to match the tattoo on his knuckles, which says "Turd" but when he puts his fist together it says "Basturd." This gentleman is obviously a classy fellow obsessed with excrement. I ask the young man about how long it takes for a nose piercing to heal and he replies, in a disgusted voice, "Well I don't know! Maybe some months or a couple weeks or whatever." Fantastic.
A hole-y man named Pedro invites us to the back of the shop where we will be pierced. Since it is near closing time, everyone in the place gathers around to watch the procedure. I decide to go first and ask Pedro how much this will hurt. He says, "Well, you're gonna cry." Ha! Pedro does not know how tough I am! "No really," Pedro says. "You automatically tear up because it hits your sinuses." Oh.
Pedro and his gang are a classy bunch and as he swabs the inside of my nose with a q-tip, he discusses an earlier even that day when a few young ladies came in asking to take photos of them giving the men of the shop blow jobs. Then the dude with the fresh tattoo (and a swollen arm around it) started telling me that I looked hot. I began to wonder about my chances of getting AIDS from this piercing, but before I knew it, there was a needle through my nose. It hurt for a second, then it was fine...or at least I thought it was fine. I couldn't tell, but apparently I was bleeding a lot. Pedro said, "Wow, I've never seen anyone bleed that much before. You should go into the bathroom and clean that off." I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. Pedro doesn't like the sight of blood, apparently, which is odd coming from a man with a giant spike coming out of his lip, but he sent me away anyway until the bleeding stopped.
Lora was up next to get a standard ear piercing. Pedro was confused and kept trying to convince Lora to get something more daring as her first piercing, but no, the lobes are just fine, thank you. Pedro explained to Lora that he did not like to use a piercing gun, but instead did it the old fashioned way with a needle and a cork. This way, instead of just pushing the flesh out of the way, a piece of flesh is actually removed. This did not make anyone except Pedro excited. Lora braved through the flesh removal, creepy arm tattoo man gave some parting words of weirdness, we paid for our new bling, and left. It was a pretty good day.
I only told my brother about my piercing, so when my parents came to pick me up for summer, this is what happened after the initial friendly greetings and hugs...
Mom: It's so great to see you! It's been so--wait a second. What is that? Noooooo. You didn't! WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO??? Scott! Look at our daughter!
Dad: Oh yeah, I figured she did that
Mom: You DID???
Dad: Yeah, why are you so surprised? Didn't you go with her to get her hair cut short?
Mom: Not her HAIR!!! Look at her face!
Dad: Oh geez....mothers' day is going to be fun

Incidentally, none of the grandparents even noticed on mothers' day. Hooray!

I have a few more stories to tell from this past semester, and I'll hopefully have time to write about them in the next couple of weeks. Topics to look forward to:
Men of Spring Semester 2008
My Interview with BJ Novak
Internships
Post-Feminism
And so much more! (or maybe not...)