Feeding Frenzy

My apartment is absolutely freezing. The heat doesn't get turned on until November 15. I am painfully cold. Hopefully, writing about the weekend's events will take my mind off of it.
Wednesday, I went to Alexanderplatz, a really groovy jazz joint very close to the apartments. The woman singing that night was excellent and did a cover of Britney Spears's "Toxic". It sounded much better with a jazzy tone.
Thursday, I spent walking around the Trastevere and Vatican area by myself. It was nice to just chill out and take in the city. I walked past a guy on a pay phone and he stopped mid-sentence to shout a "Ciao bella" my way. Does that ever work? Does anyone actually stop and say, "Why, how nice that you called me beautiful simply because you noticed I am female! Please, continue with your flattering generalizations and then perhaps we shall go to the local discoteca tonight." No. Never.
Thursday night, a group of us went to Piazza Navona. We ended up in a bar that became infiltrated with lots of pasty British guys ranging from the ages of 26 to 56. One was sporting underwear on the outside of his pants and carrying around a wooden spoon. We decided he would be a fun guy to talk to and we did have an interesting conversation about his attire, which he explained by saying, "Isn't this what the Romans do?" Nope, not usually. Then he asked us if we were Canadian, so of course we said yes and he said, "Yeah, you don't seem good enough to be Americans." It was eventually (or right after this comment) revealed that we were American and this British fellow wanted to know where in America I was from. I don't know why I even bothered saying Ohio. Everyone just gives me a false nod of recognition whenever I say Ohio. The British guy was no different, except he went a little further in trying to figure out where it was. I pretty much told him it was next to New York City. Close enough. Later, we met this British guy's super creepy friend who talked constantly about how he just loooooved the American accent and any girl who had it could just melt his heart by talking. I tried to stay silent when around him, but I still got an awkward, uncomfortable, and uninvited lingering cheek kiss from him when he left. He was gross.
After about 2 hours of sleep that night, I got up and went to Perugia with Caitlin for the EuroChocolate festival. Perugia is a town in Umbria near Assisi and it has a university. It's a lot less touristy than other towns and very pretty. Chocolate Festival was very cool and consisted of a collection of tents throughout the town, all with various kinds of chocolate in any shape or flavor you could want. There was violet chocolate, pure dark chocolate, cinnamon chocolate, chocolate covered fruit, chocolate cell phones, chocolate batteries, hot chocolate, chocolate with absinthe, chocolate and hot peppers, chocolate pasta, etc. We were welcomed into Perugia by a very attractive man dressed in a giant blue mouse costume (we later found out he was supposed to be Ratattouie). He walked up right in front of Caitlin and I, waved and said "Buon giorno!" and walked off. We were so stunned by his hot factor that for a moment, we forgot he was dressed as a cartoon mouse and gave a jaunty buon giorno right back at him. Later that day, we found him again and without saying a word, handed a camera to someone and got on either side of him and snapped a photo. We left with a "Grazie" and a "Ciao, topo!" (Bye, mouse!). After eating oodles of chocolate and drinking some super thick hot chocolate, we decided we needed an actual meal and had the best pizza yet at a little pizzeria that had the feeling/smell of a church basement. Then we went searching for Ruff Stuff, a gangsta ghetto fabulous store we heard about from MTV's Italy guide book. After searching for quite some time, we finally found it, and it was closed. Bummer. But we did find a great vintage store. Good thing Perugia is small because we went to it three times before it was opened. The store itself was very small, but it had a lot of treasures like Prada shoes and real snake skin clutches. I tried on a pair of knee high boots, but as with most Italian boots, it didn't zip up all the way because of the giant calves I have developed from all the walking I do here. I have no idea why all Italians do not have massive legs. When the woman who owned the store asked if the boots fit I said, "No, ho le gambe come un uomo." (I have legs like a man). She replied with a "Si" and a nod in agreement. Stupid man legs. The rest of Perugia was very cool and scenic and the chocolate was terrific.
Instead of collapsing into bed as soon as I got back that night, a group of us went to Trastevere to see Quentin Terantino. That's right, the director. We had all gotten an email inviting us to a club opening which was also a party for Quentin Terantino. The invite boasted a hip hop and R&B party and an actual appearance by Quentin himself. Most were skeptical, but I put my trust in JCU (bad decision right there) and went to the party, camera in hand, ready to photograph QT and ask him for a job. We got to the club around 11:30. It didn't open until 12:30 and when we asked the bouncer about Quentin he acted like he couldn't understand us and just kept repeating the opening time of the club. Finally, the club opened and a flood of American students dressed as Reservoir Dogs eagerly awaiting Terantino's arrival lined up. We handed over our special invitations and asked a different bouncer about QT. She laughed at us and said, "This is Italy!" which I guess meant that in Italy, it's ok to lie to people about celebrity appearances to get them to go to a club. We left after about 10 minutes of being there. Next week, the club is having a party for Spike Lee. I will not be going.
On the way to that club we did see an interesting sight--an Italian bachelorette party. A gaggle of inebriated Italian women was gathered outside the Vatican walls (great place for debauchery) and one had a veil on and sign around her neck asking for help. Her task was to stop cars in the street and wash their windows. She was all about this and was running out into the street to wash windows. Her sign said she was getting married the very next day. I hope she didn't get hit by a car the night before her wedding.
Today was a fantastic day. It included all my favorite elements of Italy--great food, great friends, great views, and Maria Younes. Plus it was free! We went on a Notre Dame sponsored trip to Farfa. I'm still not entirely sure where Farfa is, but I think it's near Florence, so it must be in Tuscany. The town of Farfa is very small and quiet and has tons of cats and dogs just running around. There was one little dog that followed us around everywhere. I named him Quentin Terantino in honor of the previous night. No one called him this. When we got to Farfa, we walked around the town for a bit, sampled some honey from a roadside stand, and pet some stray cats. Then we hiked up a hill to an olive grove. The hike was nothing because, after Assisi, every incline will seem like cake. Along the hike, we stopped and looked at the vegetation, which was very Mediterranean and beachy. There was a strong wind blowing that made a great sound through all the trees and bushes. We got to the top of the hill where our tour guide's mother and 3-year old son, Lorenzo, met us. The view was great and you could see lots of olive groves. If you looked very hard, you could see St. Peter's on the horizon. After telling us a few facts about olives, we were sent out to take a quiz, the questions of which were tied to trees throughout the olive grove. The top three scorers each got a bottle of the grove's homemade olive oil, which we sample later and was very good. I was a top scorer, but I attribute that to my lucky guessing skills rather than to my knowledge of olives. The best part of the day was lunch. We sat on a patio on top of the hill, overlooking the olive grove and all of Farfa. We had meat, cheese, bread, olive oil, salad, olives, lentil soup, mapo (cross between grapefruits and clementines), and "chocolate surprise". It was one of the best meals ever, and not just because of the great food, but also because of the great view and tranquility of the place. After we went down the hill, we took a tour of the Benedictine abbey. It was a lovely day.
There were a few crazy Maria Younes stories. I don't know what it is with her, but she is just weird. When we were at the honey stand, someone mentioned that they put honey in their tea. Maria responded with, "I put honey in my tea, too! See, we are alike! We are very similar!" At the end of the trip when we got off the bus and headed back to the apartments, Maria shouted "YOUR WELCOME" after us, insinuating we were rude children who never said thank you. We did say thank you several times throughout the trip. We just didn't say it all in unison at the end of the trip. There are other Maria stories, but they are all too topical and I don't really feel like telling them (you probably don't feel like reading them).
Now I'm probably going to go run my face under some boiling water or walk on some hot coals or something to warm up. I did not pack well for this...