Million Dollar Baby

Warning: To fully understand and appreciate the first part of this blog entry, you must have read the last one. You should just read all of them because their freakin' awesome.

So I walk into Theology the other day, and I head towards my assigned seat (yes, we have assigned seats in that class. I sit in the back because I always get there late). As I walk in the door and look at my desk, I notice a puppy pencil case sitting on it. This could only mean one thing....Asian prostitute chick has taken my seat! She's supposed to sit two rows ahead of me! Did her stupid puppy thing get too heavy that she simply could not make it the extra 3 steps it would take to get to her own seat? Probably not. She's probably just crazy.

You're probably thinking, "Lay off the Asian chick. Taking your seat is not so bad." Alright, so it's not so bad. But listen to this. I walk into the women's lavatory (hee hee lavatory) before Italian class, not really paying attention to who else is in the bathroom. As I head into the stall, I see Asian Chick out of the corner of my eye. I literally did a double take, backed up, and craned my neck to make sure it was her, and indeed it was. This was exciting, seeing Asian Chick outside of theology class. What was even more exciting was what she was wearing. Her shirt was bright turqouise with the words "Half Naughty, Half Nice" emblazoned on it. Woah, hold the phone. I think this is confirmation that she is trying to send a somewhat scandalous message to the boys of ND. She also wore a baseball cap that said "Irish Girls" on the front and "best in the world" on the back. But she, however, being cool and trendy, turned her baseball cap backwards so one saw "Best in the World" and "Half Naughty, Half Nice" right away. These are probably descriptions of her services. Plus, no one would believe she is really Irish.

Since I had already seen and analyzed Asian Chick's outfit before Italian class, I was slightly bored in theology. This boredom led to me noticing that the kid who sits in front of me wears a different Jimmy Buffet shirt nearly everday. The know-it-all girl has now taken to talking without even raising her hand and just shouts over the professor. Everytime she speaks, the kid in front of me just shakes his Parrot Head. He probably wishes he was in Margaritaville.

Enough of Theology. Let's talk Italian! I wish I could say that last sentence in Italian, but I cannot. I know little useless phrases, but someday, I'll travel to Rome and be able to order gelato in the native tongue. Or I'll have a tour guide do it for me. Anyway, I have two different professors for Italian because I have the class 5 days a week. My Monday, Wednesday, Friday teacher is from Youngstown and is quite young himself. He's pretty cool, but every Monday, he asks how our weekend was and asks certain students how many beers they drank (all in Italian). And all we can answer back is "I drink two beers" or "The beer, it does not please me." Ah, literal translation. One day, this professor claimed he saw a student at a party (apparently he attends them, too) and tried to tell us she was drunk. Seeing no reaction from the students as we didn't know what "drunk" in Italian meant, he proceeded to staggar about the room until we understood and laughed at him. The Tuesday, Thursday proffessoressa is from some country near Italy and she doesn't speak much English. To compensate for this, she has devised certain noises to convey what she means. This all makes her seem very cartoonlike, until she walks past you and she reeks of cigarettes. Cartoons don't smoke.

I joined boxing club. Yeah, real boxing club. As in "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." I tell people I joined boxing and they usually say "Oh, kickboxing! I did that!" and I have to say, "no, real boxing." It reminds me of when I told people I was going to Notre Dame and they say "Oh, in Cleveland? I got a full-ride there!" People are always underestimating me. Though, I do have to say, that if I were someone else, I wouldn't believe me either. Training for the first 2 weeks is 5 days a week, 2 hours a day. I woke up this morning and couldn't get out of bed because I was so sore. It feels good. I'm getting toned and I'm learning to box and I'm going to prove everyone who laughed at me wrong. There's no contact for the first month, but then we can choose whether or not we want to fight. They have a fight at the end of the season that other students actually buy tickets for to watch us fight. I hope I'm good enough to do that. So far, it seems like I'm doing ok, but the movements are kind of tough to get a hang of. The girls who run the program are seniors in the ROTC program. I call them ROTC Naziis. It's a rough workout (usually consisiting of running 1 mile, 400 jumping jacks, 50 push ups, 400 sit ups, lot of arm circles, etc.) but it's a good time. My neck and shoulders are going to be huge from those arm circles.

Well, I have effectively wasted time that I should have spent doing homework. That's all for now, kiddies! And post comments, you fools!