Venting....

So in my 18 years of living with Scott and Pam (my parents), I have been grounded once. I forget what it was for, but I went outside and played with my friends anyway and I was about 11. In the past week, however, I have been yelled at and grounded more than ever. Maybe my parents are just trying to pass on some last minute wisdom before I head off to college, which they seem to think I will never come back from. They're acting like, once I'm gone, I'll be severing all contacts with them. Like I'm dead or something. Whatever. Anyway, so my mom asks me to go to the post office the other day, and I refuse, which I guess was pretty dumb and selfish of me considering my mom has such a hot temper. So I got reemed and I'm grounded from my car for a week, making my friends feel like my own personal chauffers. Great. Oh, but I was allowed to use my car to take my brother to tennis lessons. That wasn't so bad, considering his coach, Pat, is entirely adorable and a great conversationalist. I look forward to talking to this creative writing major with a mean serve, but my mom put the kabash on that by suddenly ending my brother's tennis lessons, giving me no excuse to go and talk to Pat or even say goodbye. Ugh. So today my parents went off to Cleveland for dinner and shopping and an eye doctor appointment (oo how romantic). My dad suggested that I take my brother swimming at Silver Lake Country Club's pool, a very safe and heavily lifeguarded pool. Well, I ask my mom about this and she throws a fit about the dangers of swimming (my brother is 13, by the way, and totally capable of swimming). She even says, and I quote "Why don't I just stick you and your brother out in the middle of the highway and let you stand there and see if you get hit by a car!!!!!!!" As if swimming is the equivalent to dodging traffic. She is so crazy. So I had to spend the rest of my afternoon sitting at home. I wasn't even allowed to drive to get dinner for my brother and I, so my mom handed me a box of crappy macaroni and cheese. MMM, delish. So apparently, she said something about feeding my brother at 6. You wouldn't believe this, but my brother can't tell when he's hungry. We have to force him to eat. No joke. It's like he's food retarded. If we didn't tell him to, he'd never eat. So I was busy doing my own thing and Alex was doing his thing so I ask him "hey, you want a hot dog" and he's like "fine" and I'm like "well, I'm going to go take a shower since James is coming over tonight and once I'm done, I'll make you dinner" Sounds reasonable. Well, in between getting out of the shower and microwaving a hot dog, my parents come home only to be completely dissapointed that their star student daughter has failed them for about the 3rd time in her life. It's terribly tragic for them so they have a fit about me not making Alex dinner at 6 and how my mom is trying to get him on a schedule so that he eats. They make it sound like the boy is anorexic, and while he does have issues, i think his biggest one is just being a lazy ass who like to complain and refuse to do everything anyone says. So I am just so sick of being yelled at for such petty shit that I just talk back. Then they give me this lecture about acting like an adult and taking responsibility, during which they reminded me that "You're 18!" Gee, thanks, didn't know. Most 18 year olds don't have to take care of food retarded kids. And if we're all being adults here, shouldn't I be allowed to have my say in the argument? Oh no, that's back talk because during arguments, I'm a child, but during everything else, I'm supposed to be a 40 year old minidrivin' mom. So James is supposed to come over and he calls while I'm getting reemed, yet again, and I'm like "You know, probably not a good idea to come over" I hate having to do that, but I hate even more when my parents are pissed off at me in front of my friends. And I had just put my make up on too, so that's really depressing. So I'm just sitting here, all dressed up with no where to go. All because I didn't feed my brother at 6. My mom came in while I was writing this because she's wondering what else is going on because I'm not acting like myself. You know what? Nothing else is going on at all. Maybe I'm just really tired of being the perfect daughter and thinking things instead of saying them. Maybe I just decided to actually try and argue my side, like adults do. This whole "let's give Elise all the lectures she missed out on while she was being a goody-tooshoes before she goes off to college" thing is wearing thin. I mean, what is something like taking away my car going to do for my behavior at home in the next 2 months? Honestly, it's so ridiculous. Guess I'm just a terrible person for not wanting to keep quiet anymore and actually wanting to say something back to my parents after 18 years. Apparently, when I do that, I must have something else like drugs or a break up or some sort of terminal ailment on the side that makes me want to do something as terrible as that. Grrrrr. Maybe all the teenage angst I didn't have during high school is finally surfacing. Great timing if that's so. So in conclusion: I'll miss my family when I go off to college, but I won't miss being treated like a 5 year old while being expected to act like a 35 year old.

Back From the Islands

St. John is the most beautiful place on earth! That vacation was great. Sure, there were a few bumps in the road. Did anyone expect my family to get along entirely well for 8 days straight? We're not the Brady Bunch! But all in all the vacation was great. The scenery is beautiful. The water is so blue and there are palm trees and iguanas everywhere. It is certainly tropical. Every day, we went to the beach and snorkeled. In the evening, we went into the little town and had dinner and did a little shopping. The island of St. John is a U.S. territory and there are only 5,000 people who live there year round. The island is only 9 miles long. It's really small but it's so neat and relaxing. I saw soooo many fish including pufferfish, squid, sting rays, starfish, parrotfish, etc. What was most interesting is hearing the stories of people who live there and how they got to be there. This one guy went to William and Mary and then to Ward's school of bussiness and was on the fast track of some big New York City company. So he was some awesome business man. He was at a business meeting in Hawaii and said to his buddy "I don't want to do this anymore." Two weeks later he quit his job and went to Florida where he stayed at the Biltmore Hotel for a while. Then he bought a sail boat and headed out for St. John and he's never looked back. I just thought that was a cool story. So now I'm really tan (really tan for me is slightly tan for a normal person) and I got my hair corn rowed. Go ahead and laugh if you want but I like my hair!!! The only bad part of the trip was getting there. The flights weren't bad, they were just long and took up a whole day. So now I'm back and I'm bored already. Back to reality. I have to start working and filling out more forms and such for college. Oh well. It's nice to be in my own bed and to see my friends, especially the ones who are kind enough to want to see me. Yeah...on the plane from St. Thomas to Atlanta, I kept thinking about how great it will be to see a certain person and how much I miss this person, let's call them Sinead O'Conner. After a phone call, I came to find Sinead has other plans with another girl and really doesn't give a shit about seeing me or even asking me how the trip was. By the way, this other girl hates my guts but has a thing for Sinead...let's call her dAFT. So I'm feeling a little peeved but I decide to go to a graduation party to hang out with my friends, away from angry thoughts about Sinead. Just as I'm heading out the door, Sinead calls to say "I'm going to the same party as you with two other girls! Just thought you'd like to know." GRRRR Like showing up to a party with other girls only to stay a few moments before buzzing off to a party to get a buzz is going to make me smile. So Sinead, dAFT, and an obnoxious girl, let's call her DW, show up. Sinead still does not know I am mad but my good friend Timmy quickly and directly informs Sinead. Sinead doesn't get why I'm mad. And dAFT is sitting right next to Sinead so I can't very well explain why. So Sinead and his women are going to leave and Sinead stays back a bit to talk with me and ask me what is wrong. Sinead has the nerve to bring a charge against me for not calling him on the trip when I was in a different freaking country. Just as I'm about to explain things to Sinead, DW and dAFT yell at him every two seconds to leave so he must obey those girls over me, apparently, because he leaves quickly without so much as a hug. And he still does not get why I'm mad. Boys are so fucked up. I'd say lesbians have the right idea, but they have to date people like dAFT. Ewww. I don't know anyone who would touch that with a 10 and a half foot pole. But I like to turn things like that into the positive...maybe incidents like this will make it much easier for me to leave and forget Sinead come August. And I had fun at the party otherwise this debauchle.
I want to be back on the beach where it's warm and lovely. Anyone want to come with me?

To Do List

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go...
Off to St. John's in the Virgin Islands tomorrow! Yay!!! Hopefully the extended forecast is wrong because it says it's supposed to rain every day. Oh well, I've got the easy cheese ready for snorkling (it supposedly attracts fishies) so I'm ready to go. But I got thinking...once I get back from this trip, I'll only have about a month and a half left before I have to leave. Yikes! I'm beginning to think that leaving home will be pretty emotional. I mean, I will be leaving my family, boyfriend, and all my friends. Man, that's going to be rough. So I have to make this summer awesome. I thought I'd put together a little summer to-do list and if anyone wants to do these things with me, that would be cool.

Things To Do in Summer 2005
1.) Go to a drive in movie
2.) Go hiking
3.) Go to the zoo
4.) Go swimming
5.) Stay up late watching fun movies with friends
6.) Go on a picnic
7.) Eat Swensons often because I will miss that stuff when I'm in Indiana
8.) Have a bon fire with my friends and stay outside until it's really late
9.) I would say camping, but in truth, I would only do camping if there was a promise of no bugs
10.) Star gaze
11.) Read a lot of books
12.) Take a walk every day
13.) Roll down a hill
14.) Play tennis
15.) Pick tomatos in the rain (o man, that's nostalgic!)
16.) Complete this list and have fun

College is creeping up way too soon. It's strange because I've spent the last 10 months only wanting to leave and now that I've made a decision and reality is setting in, the only thing I want to do is stay. I'm going to get eaten alive out there! I dont' know what the hell I'm doing! I have no major, no direction, and the other day my mom asked me to get a deposit slip and I didn't even know what it was! Plus, I'm afraid of drive-throughs, cafeteria lines, banks, and feet! This is bad. My grandmother got me this book on preparing for college and the first few chapters are all very pessimistic, yet realistic. It says things like "you will be lonely" and "you will cry" and "you will miss your parents" and "you will never see your high school sweet heart again." How sad is that?! And the book was written by some Notre Dame professor, so it's got to be pretty acurate of a Notre Dame student at least. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'M FREAKING OUT!!!!!! If anyone ever wants to talk about it, feel free to call me because right now, I don't really feel like approaching anyone on the subject myself. Geez if anyone told me that the anticipation would be this bad, I would have dropped out of school and been a car mechanic or a waitress or a spice girl or something. Anyway, I have to go do something to cheer myself up since I am quite depressed. Oh wait, I'm going to the Virgin Islands tomorrow. That's nice.