Italians vs. the Irish

So I got into this discussion with James one day about who is better...Italians or Irish people? Don't ask me how this conversation started, but trust me, I've had much weirder ones. Anyway, James took the side of the leprauchauns and I went with the Italians, even though I am also Irish, German, and Polish. Speaking of Polish people, I have a funny joke. So there's an English couple, an Irish couple, and a Polish couple eating breakfast. The English man says to his wife "Pass the sugar, sugar." The Irish man says to his wife "Pass the honey, honey." And the stupid Pole says to his wife, "Pass the bacon, pig!" But I digress. James and I eventually dropped the conversation, he claims it was because he had to go somewhere, but I know its because I was winning and that's because Elise always wins, but that is for a later blog. Anyway, I was all fired up with good arguments for the Italians so I took it up with my mom, who also supported the Italians, not being Irish at all, though she is somewhat Polish. Now with even more pro-Italian arguments, I took the debate to school and asked Melissa, Dave, Amelia, and Margaret their opinions. Melissa had no opinion I don't think. Dave just said Irish because he's a Notre Dame whore. Amelia said Italian because she likes pasta or something. And I think Margaret may have said Irish because she is Irish...I mean her sisters' names are Bridget and Dalaney! The only thing that could make that family more Irish is if we stuck a shamrock in their green top hats and chased them for their lucky charms. Anyway, I still firmly believe that Italians are way better and here is why:

-Italian is a better language than Galiac or whatever jibberish the Irish speak
-Italian's have wine appreciation while the Irish are just a bunch of drunks.
-Italian's have better food; stromboli, pasta, meatballs...mmmm. What do the Irish have? Potatoes! Oh wait, they ran out because of a famine and got so depressed that all they did was drink and now they're a bunch of drunks.
-Italian's have much better fashion. Irish people have leprauchauns.
-Italians are much more beautiful than the Irish. Irish people are freckly and have no eyelashes and every redhead I've met has been a fairly unsavory person.
-Italians have the Pope, who presides over the entire Catholic church. The Irish have Lucky, who gaurds his cereal from those marshmellow snatching hooligans.
-Italy has better architecture.
-Mafia vs. Sheleliegh stick...I would certainly place bets on who would win this fight. The Mafia would totally kick a sticks ass. And there is no such thing as the Irish mafia because they stop at a pub and get too drunk before they whack someone.
-Italians have The Godfather Trilogy, which is cinematic genius. The Irish have Angela's Ashes, which is a real downer. You just want to shoot yourself after seeing that movie. The Italians, though, will just shoot you for you!
-Italian clubs and classes abound in schools. You never see an Irish club or class.

If you're not convinced by now that Italians are better than Irish people, then send me your reasons that Irish people are better. I'm sure they're not very good and I probably won't post them, but send them anyway so you feel like you have friends to send stuff to. And if you have any more reasons why Italians are better, send those and I probably will post them. I would like to end this enlightening blog with a joke:

An Irish man walks past a bar.