Warning: To fully understand and appreciate the first part of this blog entry, you must have read the last one. You should just read all of them because their freakin' awesome.
So I walk into Theology the other day, and I head towards my assigned seat (yes, we have assigned seats in that class. I sit in the back because I always get there late). As I walk in the door and look at my desk, I notice a puppy pencil case sitting on it. This could only mean one thing....Asian prostitute chick has taken my seat! She's supposed to sit two rows ahead of me! Did her stupid puppy thing get too heavy that she simply could not make it the extra 3 steps it would take to get to her own seat? Probably not. She's probably just crazy.
You're probably thinking, "Lay off the Asian chick. Taking your seat is not so bad." Alright, so it's not so bad. But listen to this. I walk into the women's lavatory (hee hee lavatory) before Italian class, not really paying attention to who else is in the bathroom. As I head into the stall, I see Asian Chick out of the corner of my eye. I literally did a double take, backed up, and craned my neck to make sure it was her, and indeed it was. This was exciting, seeing Asian Chick outside of theology class. What was even more exciting was what she was wearing. Her shirt was bright turqouise with the words "Half Naughty, Half Nice" emblazoned on it. Woah, hold the phone. I think this is confirmation that she is trying to send a somewhat scandalous message to the boys of ND. She also wore a baseball cap that said "Irish Girls" on the front and "best in the world" on the back. But she, however, being cool and trendy, turned her baseball cap backwards so one saw "Best in the World" and "Half Naughty, Half Nice" right away. These are probably descriptions of her services. Plus, no one would believe she is really Irish.
Since I had already seen and analyzed Asian Chick's outfit before Italian class, I was slightly bored in theology. This boredom led to me noticing that the kid who sits in front of me wears a different Jimmy Buffet shirt nearly everday. The know-it-all girl has now taken to talking without even raising her hand and just shouts over the professor. Everytime she speaks, the kid in front of me just shakes his Parrot Head. He probably wishes he was in Margaritaville.
Enough of Theology. Let's talk Italian! I wish I could say that last sentence in Italian, but I cannot. I know little useless phrases, but someday, I'll travel to Rome and be able to order gelato in the native tongue. Or I'll have a tour guide do it for me. Anyway, I have two different professors for Italian because I have the class 5 days a week. My Monday, Wednesday, Friday teacher is from Youngstown and is quite young himself. He's pretty cool, but every Monday, he asks how our weekend was and asks certain students how many beers they drank (all in Italian). And all we can answer back is "I drink two beers" or "The beer, it does not please me." Ah, literal translation. One day, this professor claimed he saw a student at a party (apparently he attends them, too) and tried to tell us she was drunk. Seeing no reaction from the students as we didn't know what "drunk" in Italian meant, he proceeded to staggar about the room until we understood and laughed at him. The Tuesday, Thursday proffessoressa is from some country near Italy and she doesn't speak much English. To compensate for this, she has devised certain noises to convey what she means. This all makes her seem very cartoonlike, until she walks past you and she reeks of cigarettes. Cartoons don't smoke.
I joined boxing club. Yeah, real boxing club. As in "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." I tell people I joined boxing and they usually say "Oh, kickboxing! I did that!" and I have to say, "no, real boxing." It reminds me of when I told people I was going to Notre Dame and they say "Oh, in Cleveland? I got a full-ride there!" People are always underestimating me. Though, I do have to say, that if I were someone else, I wouldn't believe me either. Training for the first 2 weeks is 5 days a week, 2 hours a day. I woke up this morning and couldn't get out of bed because I was so sore. It feels good. I'm getting toned and I'm learning to box and I'm going to prove everyone who laughed at me wrong. There's no contact for the first month, but then we can choose whether or not we want to fight. They have a fight at the end of the season that other students actually buy tickets for to watch us fight. I hope I'm good enough to do that. So far, it seems like I'm doing ok, but the movements are kind of tough to get a hang of. The girls who run the program are seniors in the ROTC program. I call them ROTC Naziis. It's a rough workout (usually consisiting of running 1 mile, 400 jumping jacks, 50 push ups, 400 sit ups, lot of arm circles, etc.) but it's a good time. My neck and shoulders are going to be huge from those arm circles.
Well, I have effectively wasted time that I should have spent doing homework. That's all for now, kiddies! And post comments, you fools!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Stick With the Fro Yo
I just made some old people very happy today. I called my grandparents and both grandmas said that my call just brightened their days and put a smile on their faces. I'm just that awesome.
Classes are so difficult. I really didn't believe people when they said it would be this much work, but it is. And it's not busy-work. It's plain old work.
My theology class is quite different from the religion classes of my past 12 years of Catholic education. Instead of talking about what the Church says and what the Bible says, we talk about different ways to interpret this stuff and a lot of it is unconventional. There's no wrong answers, but a lot of the stuff I was taught in Catholic grade/high school differs from the professor's views. There is this girl in my theology class who looks just like Megan McCormick, but is not like her at all. This girl is like Megan's evil twin. Well, maybe she's not evil, but she definitely shouted at the professor and interupts him all the time when she doesn't agree with him, which is always. She's read Cathechism and the Bible and is all "holier than thou" so when she hears something unconventional about the Church, she kind of flips out. At first it was ammusing, hearing this girl freak out, but now it's just kind of annoying. So in the midst of her shouting, I decided to take a gander at my fellow classmates. After taking mental note of the kid who looks like a blonde carrot top, I was suddenly stunned by the Asian chick, sitting up straight and keeping to herself. The best thing about this girl was her outfit. She had hot pink sweatpants, hot pink sequined flip flops, and a white t-shirt that had the word "WILD" written is huge hot pink letters. I highly doubt this girl was as wild as her large-lettered t-shirt claimed. She looked about as calm and harmless as her puppy dog pencil case (yes, she really did have a pencil case that looked like a fuzzy puppy). Perhaps if the puppy were real and she had actually killed it and gutted it for the use of containing her writing utensils, this girl would be wild, but I bet she bought it at the same place she got her Hello Kitty watch.
I really did not expect this girl to have such an entertaining outfit again, but she proved me wrong. Today in theology, she wore Van Dutch jeans and a bright blue t-shirt with (again) giant yellow letters reading "FREE." Woah. So not only is she WILD, but she is FREE and a skater. Or maybe she is some sort of prostitute and these shirts are a form of subtle advertising, claiming she is WILD in bed and on Mondays, her services are FREE, and perhaps she keeps condoms in her puppy pencil case. I highly doubt this. I mean, it's nearly impossible to get condoms on the Notre Dame campus. As you can tell, I am thouroughly amused by this girl and her clothes. Theology is my new favorite class.
Tonight, as I was talking online, not doing my homework, a knock came at my door. Both Caitlin and I shouted "Come in!" as is the custom in section 6a where everyone is friendly and you don't have to wear make up around your section sisters. We assumed it was Jess across the hall, so when no response came from the door, I shouted, "Come in, you fool!" as is the custom in what Akon would call the Gheeeeeeeto. So in walk two strange boys, whom neither Caitlin or I know. I immediately feel dumb. They were talking about selling food somewhere in Knott Hall, but we could barely understand them, they were laughing so hard. I came to find, however, that they were equally unintelligable at other dorm rooms.
I just read the first edition of this year's Visor. Last year's was far superior, though I have to keep in mind that the first issue always sucks. Behind Brown Eyes is the name of the new Editor in Chief, Amber Beery's column. Her column was terrible. Sorry, it really was. Though, again, my first column was pretty bad, too. I do like Alex Bluebond's column title, Kind of Blue. His column wasn't bad either. I didn't read Becky Pelini's. I'm sure it was very good as usual, but I knew I wouldn't understand it because it's about sports.
Thursday is Caitlin's birthday and since she doesn't have a blog of her own, she wanted me to let the world know of her 18th b-day through my blog. So September 1, everyone wish Caitlin a happy birthday. While we're talking about Caitlin, she just said "What's that saying? Don't hate...proliferate? That would be a good saying." It's appreciate.
Here's a fun little story about the dining hall. The other night, while dining on the fine cuisine of North Dining Hall, I decided to get some desert. I saw people putting icing on cookies, so I grab what looks like a chocolate chip cookie, take what looks like icing, and grab a spoonfull of what appears to be that blueberry goo you put on pancakes, because that stuff is the shizz. All of this, mind you, was on the buffet clearly marked "dessert." I get back to the table, only to find that the cookie is actually full of nuts, not chocolate chips, the icing is actually humus, and the blueberry goo is strawberry jam. In conclusion, I'll stick with the fro yo (frozen yogurt).
Classes are so difficult. I really didn't believe people when they said it would be this much work, but it is. And it's not busy-work. It's plain old work.
My theology class is quite different from the religion classes of my past 12 years of Catholic education. Instead of talking about what the Church says and what the Bible says, we talk about different ways to interpret this stuff and a lot of it is unconventional. There's no wrong answers, but a lot of the stuff I was taught in Catholic grade/high school differs from the professor's views. There is this girl in my theology class who looks just like Megan McCormick, but is not like her at all. This girl is like Megan's evil twin. Well, maybe she's not evil, but she definitely shouted at the professor and interupts him all the time when she doesn't agree with him, which is always. She's read Cathechism and the Bible and is all "holier than thou" so when she hears something unconventional about the Church, she kind of flips out. At first it was ammusing, hearing this girl freak out, but now it's just kind of annoying. So in the midst of her shouting, I decided to take a gander at my fellow classmates. After taking mental note of the kid who looks like a blonde carrot top, I was suddenly stunned by the Asian chick, sitting up straight and keeping to herself. The best thing about this girl was her outfit. She had hot pink sweatpants, hot pink sequined flip flops, and a white t-shirt that had the word "WILD" written is huge hot pink letters. I highly doubt this girl was as wild as her large-lettered t-shirt claimed. She looked about as calm and harmless as her puppy dog pencil case (yes, she really did have a pencil case that looked like a fuzzy puppy). Perhaps if the puppy were real and she had actually killed it and gutted it for the use of containing her writing utensils, this girl would be wild, but I bet she bought it at the same place she got her Hello Kitty watch.
I really did not expect this girl to have such an entertaining outfit again, but she proved me wrong. Today in theology, she wore Van Dutch jeans and a bright blue t-shirt with (again) giant yellow letters reading "FREE." Woah. So not only is she WILD, but she is FREE and a skater. Or maybe she is some sort of prostitute and these shirts are a form of subtle advertising, claiming she is WILD in bed and on Mondays, her services are FREE, and perhaps she keeps condoms in her puppy pencil case. I highly doubt this. I mean, it's nearly impossible to get condoms on the Notre Dame campus. As you can tell, I am thouroughly amused by this girl and her clothes. Theology is my new favorite class.
Tonight, as I was talking online, not doing my homework, a knock came at my door. Both Caitlin and I shouted "Come in!" as is the custom in section 6a where everyone is friendly and you don't have to wear make up around your section sisters. We assumed it was Jess across the hall, so when no response came from the door, I shouted, "Come in, you fool!" as is the custom in what Akon would call the Gheeeeeeeto. So in walk two strange boys, whom neither Caitlin or I know. I immediately feel dumb. They were talking about selling food somewhere in Knott Hall, but we could barely understand them, they were laughing so hard. I came to find, however, that they were equally unintelligable at other dorm rooms.
I just read the first edition of this year's Visor. Last year's was far superior, though I have to keep in mind that the first issue always sucks. Behind Brown Eyes is the name of the new Editor in Chief, Amber Beery's column. Her column was terrible. Sorry, it really was. Though, again, my first column was pretty bad, too. I do like Alex Bluebond's column title, Kind of Blue. His column wasn't bad either. I didn't read Becky Pelini's. I'm sure it was very good as usual, but I knew I wouldn't understand it because it's about sports.
Thursday is Caitlin's birthday and since she doesn't have a blog of her own, she wanted me to let the world know of her 18th b-day through my blog. So September 1, everyone wish Caitlin a happy birthday. While we're talking about Caitlin, she just said "What's that saying? Don't hate...proliferate? That would be a good saying." It's appreciate.
Here's a fun little story about the dining hall. The other night, while dining on the fine cuisine of North Dining Hall, I decided to get some desert. I saw people putting icing on cookies, so I grab what looks like a chocolate chip cookie, take what looks like icing, and grab a spoonfull of what appears to be that blueberry goo you put on pancakes, because that stuff is the shizz. All of this, mind you, was on the buffet clearly marked "dessert." I get back to the table, only to find that the cookie is actually full of nuts, not chocolate chips, the icing is actually humus, and the blueberry goo is strawberry jam. In conclusion, I'll stick with the fro yo (frozen yogurt).
Saturday, August 20, 2005
My Name's Elise, I'm from Ohio, I'm undecided
That's what I've said about a million times already. I've opted for "My Name is Elise" as opposed to "I'm Elise" because the vowels blend together with I'm and Elise and people get confused and it sounds like "Amelise." Or maybe I just need to articulate.
I got here (Notre Dame) on Thursday (Aug. 18) and I was one of the first people in my dorm because most people don't move in until the 19th. So I had the whole room to myself to do whatever I wanted with it. Yay! It wasn't as small as I thought it would be. Carpet and a bedspread make it look a whole lot more homey. One girl, however, said to me, "I like how you set up your room. It looks really homely." I'm sure she didn't mean my room was ugly, and she meant to say homey, but I could be wrong. She did get into Notre Dame, after all.
Anyway, on my way into campus, I saw a bunch of signs pointing to the various dorms. The girls dorms were fairly boring, but the boys dorm signs were clever. Zahm, a male dorm, had a sign saying "Housing your daughters since 1976" and Knott Hall's sign said "Knott this way." I live in Pasquerilla East, home of the Pyros. Maybe I should clue you, the reader, in. Each dorm is single sex and has a brother/sister dorm and has a mascot and unique aspects and it's own little event.
Moving in wasn't too bad. My parents helped me out a lot. They have to stay in South Bend for 4 days for parent orientation, so it's kind of weird because I've spent 2 days here and I haven't had to say good bye to them. It feels kind of like summer camp.
When I was in line with my parents to set up some type of money account, I see this really pretty lady and her pretty daughter, though the mom looked very young. My parents said something like "Is she a mom or a student?" and then Joe Montana walks up with them and it turns out that that was Joe Montana's wife and daughter, who attends Notre Dame. Now, I would have been very excited and star struck about this had I known who Joe Montana is. Apparently it's some sort of crime to not know, but now I know and I saw him, so I went from being behind all the other domers, to being a step ahead. So there. (Joe Montana was a pro football player)
I stayed in my dorm room alone last night and there were only about 4 other girls on my floor, so I just chilled and went to bed. It was fine until I woke up and forgot where I was and started freaking out for a couple seconds. Then it was all good and I found the hall microwave and made some tea.
Girls started moving in at 9 and were moving in all day today. I met my roommate. She's really nice and we have common interests and it seems like we'll get along.
I walked my classes today and bought some groceries and little things like that. The Performing Arts Center is amazing. I love it so much, I may just become a film major. But probably not because that's not a very useful major.
Everyone got t-shirts specific to their dorm (I got a red one that says Pasquerilla East). We had to wear these t-shirts to the big fat freshman picnic. All was fine and good and I met some cool girls in my dorm. Then I was talking with my parents, Caitlin (roomie) and her parents and this guy comes up to me and was like "I talked to you earlier, right?" and I'm like "Noooo." and he's like "Oh, well you look really familiar" and I say "Ok well then I must have a twin running around somwhere" and he goes "My name is JT" I immediately think Justin Timberlake. Then I think JTT as in Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Then I stop thinking about celebrities. I tell him my name and he's asking all this stuff like what dorm I'm in and what I like to do (to which I answered "I don't know" because I was put on the spot. I quickly changed my answer to tennis and theater, which probably isn't much better). I thought he might be advertising something, because earlier, someone had come up to us, acting all friendly, and then was like "you should study abroad! take this flier!" so I didn't ask this kid anything about himself. Then I figured out he was a freshman, too, so now I guess I was being rude. After some chit chat he left, but not before asking for my number, which I gave to him because I don't know how to say no. I'd be surprised if I ever got a call from this guy. After he left, Caitlin's 15 year old brother informed me that "I think I've met you before" is a frequently used pick up line and I fell for it. So I guess that makes me a sucker.
Tonight was dorm initiation. All the dorms do it, but in different ways. My brother dorm is Knott Hall so we teamed up with them for super sloppy double dare. It was like that old Nickelodeon show, but no Mark Summers. Eggs, chocolate syrup, water ballons, soap, vegetable oil, mustard, etc were all involved. I had to find gum in a whipped cream pie without using my hands. I used my hands. This initiation was supposed to last 2 hours, but it only lasted 20 minutes, so the non-freshmen took the extra time to douse everyone the left-over supplies. I got chocolate syrup in my hair, mustard all over me, hit with a water balloon, and of course, a face full of whipped cream. I showered as soon as I got back. A few of the men's dorms went to the various women's dorms to serenade them with various N'Sync and Backstreet Boys hits. Zahm's was certainly the best, as each guy picked a girl to serenade individually. It was slightly akward having a stranger sing to me while holding my handing and kneeling (in the other hand were the lyrics to the song), but it was funny to watch.
More adventures from Notre Dame to come soon!
I got here (Notre Dame) on Thursday (Aug. 18) and I was one of the first people in my dorm because most people don't move in until the 19th. So I had the whole room to myself to do whatever I wanted with it. Yay! It wasn't as small as I thought it would be. Carpet and a bedspread make it look a whole lot more homey. One girl, however, said to me, "I like how you set up your room. It looks really homely." I'm sure she didn't mean my room was ugly, and she meant to say homey, but I could be wrong. She did get into Notre Dame, after all.
Anyway, on my way into campus, I saw a bunch of signs pointing to the various dorms. The girls dorms were fairly boring, but the boys dorm signs were clever. Zahm, a male dorm, had a sign saying "Housing your daughters since 1976" and Knott Hall's sign said "Knott this way." I live in Pasquerilla East, home of the Pyros. Maybe I should clue you, the reader, in. Each dorm is single sex and has a brother/sister dorm and has a mascot and unique aspects and it's own little event.
Moving in wasn't too bad. My parents helped me out a lot. They have to stay in South Bend for 4 days for parent orientation, so it's kind of weird because I've spent 2 days here and I haven't had to say good bye to them. It feels kind of like summer camp.
When I was in line with my parents to set up some type of money account, I see this really pretty lady and her pretty daughter, though the mom looked very young. My parents said something like "Is she a mom or a student?" and then Joe Montana walks up with them and it turns out that that was Joe Montana's wife and daughter, who attends Notre Dame. Now, I would have been very excited and star struck about this had I known who Joe Montana is. Apparently it's some sort of crime to not know, but now I know and I saw him, so I went from being behind all the other domers, to being a step ahead. So there. (Joe Montana was a pro football player)
I stayed in my dorm room alone last night and there were only about 4 other girls on my floor, so I just chilled and went to bed. It was fine until I woke up and forgot where I was and started freaking out for a couple seconds. Then it was all good and I found the hall microwave and made some tea.
Girls started moving in at 9 and were moving in all day today. I met my roommate. She's really nice and we have common interests and it seems like we'll get along.
I walked my classes today and bought some groceries and little things like that. The Performing Arts Center is amazing. I love it so much, I may just become a film major. But probably not because that's not a very useful major.
Everyone got t-shirts specific to their dorm (I got a red one that says Pasquerilla East). We had to wear these t-shirts to the big fat freshman picnic. All was fine and good and I met some cool girls in my dorm. Then I was talking with my parents, Caitlin (roomie) and her parents and this guy comes up to me and was like "I talked to you earlier, right?" and I'm like "Noooo." and he's like "Oh, well you look really familiar" and I say "Ok well then I must have a twin running around somwhere" and he goes "My name is JT" I immediately think Justin Timberlake. Then I think JTT as in Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Then I stop thinking about celebrities. I tell him my name and he's asking all this stuff like what dorm I'm in and what I like to do (to which I answered "I don't know" because I was put on the spot. I quickly changed my answer to tennis and theater, which probably isn't much better). I thought he might be advertising something, because earlier, someone had come up to us, acting all friendly, and then was like "you should study abroad! take this flier!" so I didn't ask this kid anything about himself. Then I figured out he was a freshman, too, so now I guess I was being rude. After some chit chat he left, but not before asking for my number, which I gave to him because I don't know how to say no. I'd be surprised if I ever got a call from this guy. After he left, Caitlin's 15 year old brother informed me that "I think I've met you before" is a frequently used pick up line and I fell for it. So I guess that makes me a sucker.
Tonight was dorm initiation. All the dorms do it, but in different ways. My brother dorm is Knott Hall so we teamed up with them for super sloppy double dare. It was like that old Nickelodeon show, but no Mark Summers. Eggs, chocolate syrup, water ballons, soap, vegetable oil, mustard, etc were all involved. I had to find gum in a whipped cream pie without using my hands. I used my hands. This initiation was supposed to last 2 hours, but it only lasted 20 minutes, so the non-freshmen took the extra time to douse everyone the left-over supplies. I got chocolate syrup in my hair, mustard all over me, hit with a water balloon, and of course, a face full of whipped cream. I showered as soon as I got back. A few of the men's dorms went to the various women's dorms to serenade them with various N'Sync and Backstreet Boys hits. Zahm's was certainly the best, as each guy picked a girl to serenade individually. It was slightly akward having a stranger sing to me while holding my handing and kneeling (in the other hand were the lyrics to the song), but it was funny to watch.
More adventures from Notre Dame to come soon!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Once More, With Feeling
Here's a montage of songs from a certain T.V. musical...I'd be surprised if anyone could guess which one it's from.
You're not ready
For the world outside
You keep pretending,
but you just can't hide
I know I said that I’d
Be standing by your side
But I
I will walk through the fire
'Cause where else can I turn?
I will walk through the fire
And let it
Going through the motions
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart
I was always brave
And kind of righteous
Now I find I’m wavering
Life’s a show and we all play a part
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts
Life’s a song
You don’t get to rehearse.
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse.
I wish I could say
The right words
To lead you through this land
Wish I could stay here forever
But now I understand
I’m standing in the way
Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When we know home is near
Understand
We'll go hand in hand
But we'll walk alone in fear
What a lot of fun
You guys have been real swell
And there's not a one who can say
This ended well.
You're not ready
For the world outside
You keep pretending,
but you just can't hide
I know I said that I’d
Be standing by your side
But I
I will walk through the fire
'Cause where else can I turn?
I will walk through the fire
And let it
Going through the motions
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart
I was always brave
And kind of righteous
Now I find I’m wavering
Life’s a show and we all play a part
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts
Life’s a song
You don’t get to rehearse.
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse.
I wish I could say
The right words
To lead you through this land
Wish I could stay here forever
But now I understand
I’m standing in the way
Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When we know home is near
Understand
We'll go hand in hand
But we'll walk alone in fear
What a lot of fun
You guys have been real swell
And there's not a one who can say
This ended well.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Summer Reading
This is the first summer in quite a while that I have not had required summer reading. It's been very nice because I've been able to read whatever I want. So I thought I'd review those books that I have read so far this summer, so that you, the reader, may read something on my recommendation. Or not, whatever.
The Lovely Bones
Summary: Susie, a 14-year-old girl, gets raped and murdered. The book is written in first person from her point of view from Heaven as she watches her family and friends cope with her death. The book spans from the time of her death to about 20 years later.
Critique: The first 100 pages are incredibly depressing. The rape is described in full detail, and is probably very accurate of a rape considering the author herself was raped (she wrote another book called Lucky about her experience with rape). After you get past the horrific rape scene and the tear-jerking descriptions of the family's grief (particularly emotional was a chapter in which Susie's father has to explain to her 4 year old brother that his sister is dead) the book actually gets a little light-hearted, suspenseful, and at times humorous. At times, the novel is almost like a mystery because the reader knows who Susie's killer is, but the family doesn't and you don't know if they ever will catch him. The novel deals with a lot of issues. Susie's friends go through high school and growing up and finding themselves with the weight of a tragic loss on their shoulders. Her siblings have to deal with being labeled as "the dead girl's" brother or sister. Her parents have to deal with being able to love each other after the loss of a child, which proves extremely difficult and harmful to the family as a whole. Susie herself has to deal with watching those on Earth, but being unable to connect with them until she does find a way to break through, which is a really weird and interesting chapter. Overall, I would give the book a 4 out of 5 stars.
The DaVinci Code
Summary: Robert Langdon gets this call in the middle of the night in France and goes to the Louvre Museum to find the famous curator sprawled out in the Viruvian Man position. He and the curator's granddaughter find all these clues that the dead guy left behind and they are just so freakin' smart that they solve a bunch of clues leading to the treasure that no one has been able to find for centuries. This treasure is the Holy Grail, which really isn't a grail, but Mary Magdeline's tomb. They're being chased by the police and they get into all these Indiana Jones type adventures. The whole thing takes place in about 3 days.
Critique: Despite what everyone else says about this book, I did not like it. I think Dan Brown is a hack. Maybe I was expecting more because of all the hype, but this book just didn't do it for me. First of all, the writing is not anything spectacular. Sure, the story itself is very imaginative and takes a clever mind, but it would make a much better movie than a book. The book is frustrating in that it presents so many stories about history that you have to wonder which are fact and which are fiction. Also, Dan Brown makes a lot of bold claims about the Catholic Church. He seems as if he's trying to trick reader's into believing that the Church was founded on corrupt schemes by placing these stories among facts about art history. Obviously, Brown is not a fan of the Church, but he does not have to make things up about it. I have heard some people who have read the book actually buy into his little stories about the Church's "corrupt foundations." It is a fiction book. It's FICTION. I realize the Church is not perfect, because it is man-made. But there are not such deep, dark, corrupt, malicious, devious secrets that built the Church up. Anyway, more about the book. It became very long and drawn out and the characters did a lot of sitting around and talking and explaining certain things repeatedly to different people. Also, Langdon and his side-kick girl figured things out much too quickly for this treasure to have been such a well-gaurded secret for centuries. One second, they'd be pondering, then the next, they would have figured out this impossible riddle that has left treasure seekers perplexed for ages. The book is ridiculously outlandish. Skip this book and stick to the Indiana Jones movies. 2 out of 5 stars.
Sloppy Firsts
Summary: Jessica Darling's best friend just moved far away. In her sophomore year, she is left with only those mere aquaintances she eats lunch with. They are the superficial, popular girls who stab each other in the back, drink regularly, never eat, and have a new boyfriend every week. Jessica, a smart and quiet girl, feels lost without her best friend. To top it off, her whole family is preoccupied with her older sister's wedding and her father only talks to her about running. Marcus Flutie, the class druggie, becomes a part of Jessica's life when she decides to be daring and let him use her urine sample to fake a drug test. She becomes depressed and is becoming more distant from her once best friend, but she always maintains her wit. This book is written in the form of Jessica's journal and it follows her from sophomore year to junior year.
Critique: I couldn't put the book down. It was right up my alley. It's a very hard book to summarize because it's written in journal form, so there are many minor events that make up the book. Jessica Darling is very sarcastic and witty and is never afraid to tell her journal how she really feels about her parents or the girls she eats lunch with or Marcus Flutie. The book is not as serious as it sounds and it has lots of laugh out loud moments. It's a feel-good read with substance. Jessica was definitely a girl I could relate to and would want to be friends with. Her sense of humor is unique and she is very insightful when it comes to analyzing people. Currently, two Jessica Darling books have been written with more to come. 5 out of 5 stars.
Stiff
Summary: This is not a novel, but investigative journalism. It's all about "the curious lives of cadavers"--the many different uses for dead human bodies. Each chapter deals with a different use, including how plastic surgeons practice on heads for face lifts, cadavers used as crash test dummies, cadavers used to examine human decay, how cadavers can detail the events of a disaster, anatomy students holding memorial services for their cadavers, Body Worlds exhibits, and much more.
Critique: Warning! This book entails gory and at times horrific detailing of dead human bodies and what is done with them. It is reccomended that the reader has a strong stomache. No detail is left out in this book. The chapter that describes a field at a certain university, specifically dedicated to the study of decay (bodies are literally strewn about the field), is especially disgusting in its description of the 4 stages of decay. Because this book does not have a story line, it's a little harder to get through. Once a chapter ends, so does a story, so it's not exactly a page turner. It is, however, very interesting and I am glad that I read it. It's amazing how many uses there are for cadavers. This is a book you don't have to read all at once, but can pick up and read a chapter from time to time. 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.
Smashed
Summary: Koren Sailckas, the author, describes how she fell into alcohol abuse. Her "story of a drunken girlhood" starts when she is only 14 and ends when she give up alcohol at age 22. The novel focuses on her struggle for acceptance and self-confidence through alcohol, the pressure for women to drink, and the difficulties in escaping it.
Critique: Every girl should read this book before going to college. If I had any doubts that I would continue to abstain from alcohol in college, they were abolished with this book. Koren begins drinking at 14. By age 16, she has her stomache pumped and falls into an alcohol induced coma. In college, she blacks out and wakes up the next morning, having lost her virginity to a man she met the night before. Her relationships continously crumble and she is always afraid of men. Her attempts at abstaining from alcohol fall apart when social situations call for drinking. Her friendships are based on drinking, so when she finally does choose to quit drinking, it is made much harder for the sudden loneliness felt when she realizes the only things she had in common with her friends was drinking. She is never an alcoholic, just an alcohol abuser. Zailckas discuses throughout the book societies expectations of women when it comes to drinking. Women are supposed to be made more confident and forward and dominating if they drink, which in actuallity, there is a Girls Gone Wild camera hiding outside a bar, telling drunk girls to lift their shirts or a man hurrying a wasted girl into his car. Women are objectified in alcohol commericals when they mudwrestle or serve a man his drink, scantily clad. This book truly demonstrates the dangers of excess and how college drinking is especially harmful, despite its wide acceptance. Zailckas sites several Harvard studies on college drinking throughout her book to backup her claim that, although accepted, college binge drinking is dangerous for all people, especially women. So if there is one book that you read this summer, make it this one. It might change your opinion on drinking once you get to school, or it at least might make you take a second thought. 5 out of 5 stars.
So there you have it--my summer reading. Take it for what its worth, but trust me about Smashed. Happy reading!
The Lovely Bones
Summary: Susie, a 14-year-old girl, gets raped and murdered. The book is written in first person from her point of view from Heaven as she watches her family and friends cope with her death. The book spans from the time of her death to about 20 years later.
Critique: The first 100 pages are incredibly depressing. The rape is described in full detail, and is probably very accurate of a rape considering the author herself was raped (she wrote another book called Lucky about her experience with rape). After you get past the horrific rape scene and the tear-jerking descriptions of the family's grief (particularly emotional was a chapter in which Susie's father has to explain to her 4 year old brother that his sister is dead) the book actually gets a little light-hearted, suspenseful, and at times humorous. At times, the novel is almost like a mystery because the reader knows who Susie's killer is, but the family doesn't and you don't know if they ever will catch him. The novel deals with a lot of issues. Susie's friends go through high school and growing up and finding themselves with the weight of a tragic loss on their shoulders. Her siblings have to deal with being labeled as "the dead girl's" brother or sister. Her parents have to deal with being able to love each other after the loss of a child, which proves extremely difficult and harmful to the family as a whole. Susie herself has to deal with watching those on Earth, but being unable to connect with them until she does find a way to break through, which is a really weird and interesting chapter. Overall, I would give the book a 4 out of 5 stars.
The DaVinci Code
Summary: Robert Langdon gets this call in the middle of the night in France and goes to the Louvre Museum to find the famous curator sprawled out in the Viruvian Man position. He and the curator's granddaughter find all these clues that the dead guy left behind and they are just so freakin' smart that they solve a bunch of clues leading to the treasure that no one has been able to find for centuries. This treasure is the Holy Grail, which really isn't a grail, but Mary Magdeline's tomb. They're being chased by the police and they get into all these Indiana Jones type adventures. The whole thing takes place in about 3 days.
Critique: Despite what everyone else says about this book, I did not like it. I think Dan Brown is a hack. Maybe I was expecting more because of all the hype, but this book just didn't do it for me. First of all, the writing is not anything spectacular. Sure, the story itself is very imaginative and takes a clever mind, but it would make a much better movie than a book. The book is frustrating in that it presents so many stories about history that you have to wonder which are fact and which are fiction. Also, Dan Brown makes a lot of bold claims about the Catholic Church. He seems as if he's trying to trick reader's into believing that the Church was founded on corrupt schemes by placing these stories among facts about art history. Obviously, Brown is not a fan of the Church, but he does not have to make things up about it. I have heard some people who have read the book actually buy into his little stories about the Church's "corrupt foundations." It is a fiction book. It's FICTION. I realize the Church is not perfect, because it is man-made. But there are not such deep, dark, corrupt, malicious, devious secrets that built the Church up. Anyway, more about the book. It became very long and drawn out and the characters did a lot of sitting around and talking and explaining certain things repeatedly to different people. Also, Langdon and his side-kick girl figured things out much too quickly for this treasure to have been such a well-gaurded secret for centuries. One second, they'd be pondering, then the next, they would have figured out this impossible riddle that has left treasure seekers perplexed for ages. The book is ridiculously outlandish. Skip this book and stick to the Indiana Jones movies. 2 out of 5 stars.
Sloppy Firsts
Summary: Jessica Darling's best friend just moved far away. In her sophomore year, she is left with only those mere aquaintances she eats lunch with. They are the superficial, popular girls who stab each other in the back, drink regularly, never eat, and have a new boyfriend every week. Jessica, a smart and quiet girl, feels lost without her best friend. To top it off, her whole family is preoccupied with her older sister's wedding and her father only talks to her about running. Marcus Flutie, the class druggie, becomes a part of Jessica's life when she decides to be daring and let him use her urine sample to fake a drug test. She becomes depressed and is becoming more distant from her once best friend, but she always maintains her wit. This book is written in the form of Jessica's journal and it follows her from sophomore year to junior year.
Critique: I couldn't put the book down. It was right up my alley. It's a very hard book to summarize because it's written in journal form, so there are many minor events that make up the book. Jessica Darling is very sarcastic and witty and is never afraid to tell her journal how she really feels about her parents or the girls she eats lunch with or Marcus Flutie. The book is not as serious as it sounds and it has lots of laugh out loud moments. It's a feel-good read with substance. Jessica was definitely a girl I could relate to and would want to be friends with. Her sense of humor is unique and she is very insightful when it comes to analyzing people. Currently, two Jessica Darling books have been written with more to come. 5 out of 5 stars.
Stiff
Summary: This is not a novel, but investigative journalism. It's all about "the curious lives of cadavers"--the many different uses for dead human bodies. Each chapter deals with a different use, including how plastic surgeons practice on heads for face lifts, cadavers used as crash test dummies, cadavers used to examine human decay, how cadavers can detail the events of a disaster, anatomy students holding memorial services for their cadavers, Body Worlds exhibits, and much more.
Critique: Warning! This book entails gory and at times horrific detailing of dead human bodies and what is done with them. It is reccomended that the reader has a strong stomache. No detail is left out in this book. The chapter that describes a field at a certain university, specifically dedicated to the study of decay (bodies are literally strewn about the field), is especially disgusting in its description of the 4 stages of decay. Because this book does not have a story line, it's a little harder to get through. Once a chapter ends, so does a story, so it's not exactly a page turner. It is, however, very interesting and I am glad that I read it. It's amazing how many uses there are for cadavers. This is a book you don't have to read all at once, but can pick up and read a chapter from time to time. 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.
Smashed
Summary: Koren Sailckas, the author, describes how she fell into alcohol abuse. Her "story of a drunken girlhood" starts when she is only 14 and ends when she give up alcohol at age 22. The novel focuses on her struggle for acceptance and self-confidence through alcohol, the pressure for women to drink, and the difficulties in escaping it.
Critique: Every girl should read this book before going to college. If I had any doubts that I would continue to abstain from alcohol in college, they were abolished with this book. Koren begins drinking at 14. By age 16, she has her stomache pumped and falls into an alcohol induced coma. In college, she blacks out and wakes up the next morning, having lost her virginity to a man she met the night before. Her relationships continously crumble and she is always afraid of men. Her attempts at abstaining from alcohol fall apart when social situations call for drinking. Her friendships are based on drinking, so when she finally does choose to quit drinking, it is made much harder for the sudden loneliness felt when she realizes the only things she had in common with her friends was drinking. She is never an alcoholic, just an alcohol abuser. Zailckas discuses throughout the book societies expectations of women when it comes to drinking. Women are supposed to be made more confident and forward and dominating if they drink, which in actuallity, there is a Girls Gone Wild camera hiding outside a bar, telling drunk girls to lift their shirts or a man hurrying a wasted girl into his car. Women are objectified in alcohol commericals when they mudwrestle or serve a man his drink, scantily clad. This book truly demonstrates the dangers of excess and how college drinking is especially harmful, despite its wide acceptance. Zailckas sites several Harvard studies on college drinking throughout her book to backup her claim that, although accepted, college binge drinking is dangerous for all people, especially women. So if there is one book that you read this summer, make it this one. It might change your opinion on drinking once you get to school, or it at least might make you take a second thought. 5 out of 5 stars.
So there you have it--my summer reading. Take it for what its worth, but trust me about Smashed. Happy reading!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Two topics rolled into one blog!!!
I love fireworks. They are just so great. I wish they launched fireworks year round, but I doubt very many people would sit outside in December to watch them. Anyway, I missed the 4th of July parade, not because I am unpatriotic, but for several reasons:
1.) Stow's parade is getting really lame. It's turned into a bunch of realtors giving out business cards.
2.) I am afraid of clowns and parades almost always have clowns. I saw one at a cookout on the 3rd and I nearly freaked out until I noticed the clown did not have face paint on. This made things a little better, but not much, considering he was equipped with huge multi-colored shoes, MC Hammer-esque parachute pants, and balloon animal making skills.
3.) I had a feeling watching a parade would make me more aware that I am not a kid anymore and that my childhood is behind me. It's like I wouldn't be allowed to enjoy it because society says parades are for kids and such. I probably wouldn't enjoy anyway, though, because they'd be throwing candy at me and I'd just be thinking about how many calories are in each little tootsie roll.
4.) I didn't want to get up early. I like sleep. A lot.
5.) I wasn't in the parade. I would definitely go if I was in it. Walking those five miles while chucking candy at toddlers would be a great workout. The only time I was in the parade was for girlscouts and that was in 3rd grade. It was fun. I decided I could probably just have an impromptu float idea and hop in line for the parade, but by the time I came up with a cause, it was too late and I was too lazy. My cause would be PETA: People for Eating Tasty Animals (I know that's not my original idea, but it's soooo funny). My float would be Hawaiin style with a giant pig on a spit in the middle. I'd toss steaks into the crowd. So, if anyone wants to join me in this cause for next year's parade, just give me a call.
6.) I hate it when people say "Happy 4th of July" and that would definitely happen at a 4th of July parade. Saying "happy 4th of July" is like saying "Happy 23 of April." It's a date! not a holiday! If you want to wish someone some holiday cheer on July 4th, you should say "Happy Independence day" or "Here, have some leftover potato salad from yesterday's family picnic!" But please, do not say "happy birthday America." That is soooo corny.
I guess those are really the only reasons I had for not going to the parade. I did go to two sets of fireworks--Hudson's and Silver Lake's. Silver Lake's was way better.
So at the end of this month I get my roommate assignment. I'm so excited!!! I just want to know right now. It's killing me, not knowing, it really is. I've been speculating all summer about what my roomie is going to be like and what will I do if she's a twit? I watched this episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy gets this awful roommate who is just so annoying, but such a sickeningly sweet goodie tooshoes. She's uber obnoxious, but to top it off, she ends up being a soul-sucking demon. Don't worry, Buffy kicks her butt into another dimension. But what if I, a normal, non-slayer girl, gets a terrible roommate who wants to kill me? I have no super powers! I can barely shove someone to their side of the room, let alone into another realm. So here's keeping my fingers crossed for a non-demon roommate.
1.) Stow's parade is getting really lame. It's turned into a bunch of realtors giving out business cards.
2.) I am afraid of clowns and parades almost always have clowns. I saw one at a cookout on the 3rd and I nearly freaked out until I noticed the clown did not have face paint on. This made things a little better, but not much, considering he was equipped with huge multi-colored shoes, MC Hammer-esque parachute pants, and balloon animal making skills.
3.) I had a feeling watching a parade would make me more aware that I am not a kid anymore and that my childhood is behind me. It's like I wouldn't be allowed to enjoy it because society says parades are for kids and such. I probably wouldn't enjoy anyway, though, because they'd be throwing candy at me and I'd just be thinking about how many calories are in each little tootsie roll.
4.) I didn't want to get up early. I like sleep. A lot.
5.) I wasn't in the parade. I would definitely go if I was in it. Walking those five miles while chucking candy at toddlers would be a great workout. The only time I was in the parade was for girlscouts and that was in 3rd grade. It was fun. I decided I could probably just have an impromptu float idea and hop in line for the parade, but by the time I came up with a cause, it was too late and I was too lazy. My cause would be PETA: People for Eating Tasty Animals (I know that's not my original idea, but it's soooo funny). My float would be Hawaiin style with a giant pig on a spit in the middle. I'd toss steaks into the crowd. So, if anyone wants to join me in this cause for next year's parade, just give me a call.
6.) I hate it when people say "Happy 4th of July" and that would definitely happen at a 4th of July parade. Saying "happy 4th of July" is like saying "Happy 23 of April." It's a date! not a holiday! If you want to wish someone some holiday cheer on July 4th, you should say "Happy Independence day" or "Here, have some leftover potato salad from yesterday's family picnic!" But please, do not say "happy birthday America." That is soooo corny.
I guess those are really the only reasons I had for not going to the parade. I did go to two sets of fireworks--Hudson's and Silver Lake's. Silver Lake's was way better.
So at the end of this month I get my roommate assignment. I'm so excited!!! I just want to know right now. It's killing me, not knowing, it really is. I've been speculating all summer about what my roomie is going to be like and what will I do if she's a twit? I watched this episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy gets this awful roommate who is just so annoying, but such a sickeningly sweet goodie tooshoes. She's uber obnoxious, but to top it off, she ends up being a soul-sucking demon. Don't worry, Buffy kicks her butt into another dimension. But what if I, a normal, non-slayer girl, gets a terrible roommate who wants to kill me? I have no super powers! I can barely shove someone to their side of the room, let alone into another realm. So here's keeping my fingers crossed for a non-demon roommate.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Venting....
So in my 18 years of living with Scott and Pam (my parents), I have been grounded once. I forget what it was for, but I went outside and played with my friends anyway and I was about 11. In the past week, however, I have been yelled at and grounded more than ever. Maybe my parents are just trying to pass on some last minute wisdom before I head off to college, which they seem to think I will never come back from. They're acting like, once I'm gone, I'll be severing all contacts with them. Like I'm dead or something. Whatever. Anyway, so my mom asks me to go to the post office the other day, and I refuse, which I guess was pretty dumb and selfish of me considering my mom has such a hot temper. So I got reemed and I'm grounded from my car for a week, making my friends feel like my own personal chauffers. Great. Oh, but I was allowed to use my car to take my brother to tennis lessons. That wasn't so bad, considering his coach, Pat, is entirely adorable and a great conversationalist. I look forward to talking to this creative writing major with a mean serve, but my mom put the kabash on that by suddenly ending my brother's tennis lessons, giving me no excuse to go and talk to Pat or even say goodbye. Ugh. So today my parents went off to Cleveland for dinner and shopping and an eye doctor appointment (oo how romantic). My dad suggested that I take my brother swimming at Silver Lake Country Club's pool, a very safe and heavily lifeguarded pool. Well, I ask my mom about this and she throws a fit about the dangers of swimming (my brother is 13, by the way, and totally capable of swimming). She even says, and I quote "Why don't I just stick you and your brother out in the middle of the highway and let you stand there and see if you get hit by a car!!!!!!!" As if swimming is the equivalent to dodging traffic. She is so crazy. So I had to spend the rest of my afternoon sitting at home. I wasn't even allowed to drive to get dinner for my brother and I, so my mom handed me a box of crappy macaroni and cheese. MMM, delish. So apparently, she said something about feeding my brother at 6. You wouldn't believe this, but my brother can't tell when he's hungry. We have to force him to eat. No joke. It's like he's food retarded. If we didn't tell him to, he'd never eat. So I was busy doing my own thing and Alex was doing his thing so I ask him "hey, you want a hot dog" and he's like "fine" and I'm like "well, I'm going to go take a shower since James is coming over tonight and once I'm done, I'll make you dinner" Sounds reasonable. Well, in between getting out of the shower and microwaving a hot dog, my parents come home only to be completely dissapointed that their star student daughter has failed them for about the 3rd time in her life. It's terribly tragic for them so they have a fit about me not making Alex dinner at 6 and how my mom is trying to get him on a schedule so that he eats. They make it sound like the boy is anorexic, and while he does have issues, i think his biggest one is just being a lazy ass who like to complain and refuse to do everything anyone says. So I am just so sick of being yelled at for such petty shit that I just talk back. Then they give me this lecture about acting like an adult and taking responsibility, during which they reminded me that "You're 18!" Gee, thanks, didn't know. Most 18 year olds don't have to take care of food retarded kids. And if we're all being adults here, shouldn't I be allowed to have my say in the argument? Oh no, that's back talk because during arguments, I'm a child, but during everything else, I'm supposed to be a 40 year old minidrivin' mom. So James is supposed to come over and he calls while I'm getting reemed, yet again, and I'm like "You know, probably not a good idea to come over" I hate having to do that, but I hate even more when my parents are pissed off at me in front of my friends. And I had just put my make up on too, so that's really depressing. So I'm just sitting here, all dressed up with no where to go. All because I didn't feed my brother at 6. My mom came in while I was writing this because she's wondering what else is going on because I'm not acting like myself. You know what? Nothing else is going on at all. Maybe I'm just really tired of being the perfect daughter and thinking things instead of saying them. Maybe I just decided to actually try and argue my side, like adults do. This whole "let's give Elise all the lectures she missed out on while she was being a goody-tooshoes before she goes off to college" thing is wearing thin. I mean, what is something like taking away my car going to do for my behavior at home in the next 2 months? Honestly, it's so ridiculous. Guess I'm just a terrible person for not wanting to keep quiet anymore and actually wanting to say something back to my parents after 18 years. Apparently, when I do that, I must have something else like drugs or a break up or some sort of terminal ailment on the side that makes me want to do something as terrible as that. Grrrrr. Maybe all the teenage angst I didn't have during high school is finally surfacing. Great timing if that's so. So in conclusion: I'll miss my family when I go off to college, but I won't miss being treated like a 5 year old while being expected to act like a 35 year old.
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