First off, I would just like everyone to know that the comment from "Sal" waseah not actually from the real Sal. That would have been mortifying.
For Halloween I was a vampirate, which is a cross between a vampire and a pirate. I thought it was clever, but most people just thought I was confused and asked why I was wearing a cape and an eye patch. Lauren, my cousin, just thought I was a dirty pirate hooker, which in some ways, is a more hilarious costume than vampirate. Though I can't really compete with her "Dagolicious" costume--a play on the Flavor of Love contestants. Did anyone see the reunion show? New York is getting her own dating show! What a ho!
I was sitting in computer class the other day, which is what I usually do, considering it is best to operate a computer from a sitting position as opposed to a standing or dancing etc. one. Anyway, before class starts, my two professors (I have two for this class because the main one doesn't really know what he's doing) start talking about kittens. Professor #1 says "I have a friend who was trying to sell a litter of kittens. She had a guy call and say he'd buy the whole litter." Professor # 2 "Oh, did you tell her?" Professor #1 "Oh yeah. I told her, don't sell those kittens to him. He's just going to feed them to his snake. And you know what? She called him on it and that's exactly what he was going to do." WHAT?! People buy entire litters of kittens to feed to their snakes!? And that was the only thing I learned in class that day.
An Italian film about terrorism and Aldo Moro called "Buongiorno, notte" (Good morning, night) was playing on campus so some of my Italian class friends and I decided to go. It was a pretty good film. Italian cinema is all about realism, so it can be a little dry, but it is good. Anyway, we were leaving the DPAC and talking about Aldo Moro when this older guy comes up to us and says, "Yeah, I was studying abroad through the St. Mary's program when all that stuff was going on." We were all impressed and asked him to tell us more. "I lived just a few streets away from where they found his body in the trunk of a car. It was crazy." We were amazed with the historically significant experience this man had, until he said the nex thing. "And it was awesome because I went to a dead-people themed costume party and won best costume because I dressed up like Aldo Moro. I just put a bunch of bullet holes in myself and climbed in the back of a trunk. It was awesome!" When we all just stared at him, he sauntered away, leaving us a tad creeped out.
Speaking of Italian things, I forgot to mention this in my blog, but a few weeks ago, my friend Heather and I got an e-mail from my Italian professor saying that our incessant talking was disturbing class and we are not allowed to sit next to each other. Here's the email. Keep in mind that the professor had never said anything to either of us indicating that we were disturbing class and that we really weren't talking very much at all. The email had the subject heading of "basta!" which means "enough!"
Care studentesse:
Ever since the beginning of the semester, you two have made a point to sit close
to one another (in the back row), and have seized many opportunities to whisper
and giggle amongst yourselves, almost every time I take my eyes off of you for
a few seconds.
I struggle to believe that you really consider this to be appropriate behavior.
If you have something to say that is relevant to our class, raise your hand and
do so out loud. If not, follow your classmates' example by paying attention and
not speaking (at any volume) when others are saying something.
As much as I want you to get a good grade in our class, if these kinds of
behaviors don't stop immediately and permanently, I guarantee you that you will
not.
You can start by not sitting next to or close to each other, and by refraining
from any action that could be considered distracting, disruptive, and generally
inappropriate for the classroom.
If you feel that I'm being unfair, I encourage you to take it up with the
Italian program director: Prof. Colleen Ryan-Scheutz, by e-mailing her at
ryan.104@nd.edu
If you see my point, show it with your actions and behavior.
Crazy, right? The professor sent this email to us the morning before he left town for a week, so we couldn't even say anything to him. We did end up talking to him and apologizing, though stating that we did not know we were causing a problem. He confessed that this email was a bad way to go about handling things, but another student in the class had emailed him saying that other students were distracting him/her and he/she couldn't focus. Now it's just a matter of who that student is so we can give him/her mean looks. It's only a class of 12 students. My bets are on the kid who responds to every question by running his hands through his hair and grunting "Ho dimenticato" (I forget).
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
I May Have Salmonella
This post is coming to you from Stow because I'm on fall break! Yippee!! It's strange, last year I wasn't too thrilled about leaving my new home to go back to Stow for a week. This year, I could not wait to relax in a big bed in a big house with no work. I guess the honeymoon is over for college.
My first story takes place in the men's dorm Sorin. There was a party in the quint with the theme of "I'm in love with a stripper" or more specifically the Duke lacrosse team. You can imagine the classy crowd this attracted. I went in my usual going out gear, but it appeared as if some of the other girls had forgotten to put on any gear at all, like pants. Yep, some girls came in just their lingerie (and none of them were Asian Chick). These girls were of course the ones who chose to stand in the windows above the crowd and dance for all to see. The best part of the night was probably when Journey's "Dont' Stop Believing" came on and the window strippers didn't know how to dance to such a slow song, but they didn't want to give up the coveted window display spot, so they just sort of akwardly swayed, hoping everyone would still be looking at them. Anyone, the nearly nude girls in the window is not what this story is about. I was dancing, as one might do at a party, when a fairly attractive young man joined me. During the whole akward getting to know you while permiscuously grinding against you, I found out this guy's name (Sal), his major (don't remember), his hometown (who cares?), and what he does for outside of classes (bagpipes...). As soon as he found out that I box, he made his move with a gem of a pick up line "Have you ever played Fight Night for Xbox? Because I have it in my room. We could go play it...in my room...." Why I didn't jump him right then and there is hard to say, but I brushed him off for a while. He was persistent and for a second I actually believed that he really did just want to play video games. It was in that second that he grabbed my hand and led me out of the party and to his room. Don't worry, he was a gentleman about it and as we were leaving said "You sure your friends won't think your a whore if you leave with me now?" Nope, my friends will probably just think you slipped me a roofie. Once we got to his room, he made me take my shoes off before entering. A little strange, but ok. The carpet was immaculate. He puts on what may have been Justin Timberlake's new CD and says "Let's dance some more before we play the game." To my horror, in the midst of dancing, he turns his back to me, bends down to touch the ground, and snaps up. That's right, he did a bend and snap. And he was completely serious. Looking back, I should have made my exit then. Actually, I should have made my exit at the Justin Timberlake CD. Actually, I should have never entered, but then I wouldn't have such a fantastic story. After the bend and snap, Sal figured I was wooed enough by his smoothness and moved in for the kiss. This wasn't just any kiss. This was the craziest freakin' kiss of my life. Not crazy good like fireworks and head spinning. Crazy like he flicked his tongue up and down really fast before actually kissing me. This is why I will refer to him as Salamander from now on. After trying to tolerate this for a bit more, I decided to leave because "My friends are probably looking for me" which actually ended up being true. Sal was a little dissapointed because he found me "interesting and intriguing." That's cool. Of course the first thing I did when I got home that night was try to facebook stalk him, but I could not find him on facebook. I began to wonder if I had been given a fake name (it didn't really cross my mind that he might actually not have a facebook). To clear up the confusion, I asked a friend in the bagpipe band if he knew him. He said he did and I asked what his deal was. His response: "He's kind of a freak...sexually. I've heard stories." So I hooked up with a sexual freak. I sure know how to pick 'em. Is it really so much to ask for a guy who is fairly normal, not creepy, has a facebook, and wants to just openly date and not have a relationship? I guess the facebook part isn't really necessary. But he can't have a myspace.
I got my hair colored today. I debated for a long time about dying it blonde. I asked people's opinions and gave myself blonde hair in paint. I finally decided to just go for it. Unfortunately, the woman who does my hair said no. She gave some very convincing reasons and she's probably very wise, but one day, when I have time and money for the maintenace, I will be blonde. For now, I will be brunette with a hint of red.
The Mod Quad Halloween dance is coming up. I have a costume (a vampirate--a cross between a vampire and a pirate) but no date. So, if you meet some or all of the requirements for a boy described above, facebook me or something. Geez, that's desperate. I've been stalking this guy on facebook lately. He seems like a decent person and I talked to him once, so maybe I'll have Kelly hook me up SYR style. 'Cause that's not creepy at all.
My last little tidbit is that Metzger and I went to see Employee of the Month and Dane Cook is gorgeous in that rugged sexy way. Who knew?
My first story takes place in the men's dorm Sorin. There was a party in the quint with the theme of "I'm in love with a stripper" or more specifically the Duke lacrosse team. You can imagine the classy crowd this attracted. I went in my usual going out gear, but it appeared as if some of the other girls had forgotten to put on any gear at all, like pants. Yep, some girls came in just their lingerie (and none of them were Asian Chick). These girls were of course the ones who chose to stand in the windows above the crowd and dance for all to see. The best part of the night was probably when Journey's "Dont' Stop Believing" came on and the window strippers didn't know how to dance to such a slow song, but they didn't want to give up the coveted window display spot, so they just sort of akwardly swayed, hoping everyone would still be looking at them. Anyone, the nearly nude girls in the window is not what this story is about. I was dancing, as one might do at a party, when a fairly attractive young man joined me. During the whole akward getting to know you while permiscuously grinding against you, I found out this guy's name (Sal), his major (don't remember), his hometown (who cares?), and what he does for outside of classes (bagpipes...). As soon as he found out that I box, he made his move with a gem of a pick up line "Have you ever played Fight Night for Xbox? Because I have it in my room. We could go play it...in my room...." Why I didn't jump him right then and there is hard to say, but I brushed him off for a while. He was persistent and for a second I actually believed that he really did just want to play video games. It was in that second that he grabbed my hand and led me out of the party and to his room. Don't worry, he was a gentleman about it and as we were leaving said "You sure your friends won't think your a whore if you leave with me now?" Nope, my friends will probably just think you slipped me a roofie. Once we got to his room, he made me take my shoes off before entering. A little strange, but ok. The carpet was immaculate. He puts on what may have been Justin Timberlake's new CD and says "Let's dance some more before we play the game." To my horror, in the midst of dancing, he turns his back to me, bends down to touch the ground, and snaps up. That's right, he did a bend and snap. And he was completely serious. Looking back, I should have made my exit then. Actually, I should have made my exit at the Justin Timberlake CD. Actually, I should have never entered, but then I wouldn't have such a fantastic story. After the bend and snap, Sal figured I was wooed enough by his smoothness and moved in for the kiss. This wasn't just any kiss. This was the craziest freakin' kiss of my life. Not crazy good like fireworks and head spinning. Crazy like he flicked his tongue up and down really fast before actually kissing me. This is why I will refer to him as Salamander from now on. After trying to tolerate this for a bit more, I decided to leave because "My friends are probably looking for me" which actually ended up being true. Sal was a little dissapointed because he found me "interesting and intriguing." That's cool. Of course the first thing I did when I got home that night was try to facebook stalk him, but I could not find him on facebook. I began to wonder if I had been given a fake name (it didn't really cross my mind that he might actually not have a facebook). To clear up the confusion, I asked a friend in the bagpipe band if he knew him. He said he did and I asked what his deal was. His response: "He's kind of a freak...sexually. I've heard stories." So I hooked up with a sexual freak. I sure know how to pick 'em. Is it really so much to ask for a guy who is fairly normal, not creepy, has a facebook, and wants to just openly date and not have a relationship? I guess the facebook part isn't really necessary. But he can't have a myspace.
I got my hair colored today. I debated for a long time about dying it blonde. I asked people's opinions and gave myself blonde hair in paint. I finally decided to just go for it. Unfortunately, the woman who does my hair said no. She gave some very convincing reasons and she's probably very wise, but one day, when I have time and money for the maintenace, I will be blonde. For now, I will be brunette with a hint of red.
The Mod Quad Halloween dance is coming up. I have a costume (a vampirate--a cross between a vampire and a pirate) but no date. So, if you meet some or all of the requirements for a boy described above, facebook me or something. Geez, that's desperate. I've been stalking this guy on facebook lately. He seems like a decent person and I talked to him once, so maybe I'll have Kelly hook me up SYR style. 'Cause that's not creepy at all.
My last little tidbit is that Metzger and I went to see Employee of the Month and Dane Cook is gorgeous in that rugged sexy way. Who knew?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Soph-O
Metzger has been begging me for a new blog, and since I fear I have lost all other readership, I must answer her pleas
Sophomore year started with quite a flurry of events. I arrived at school and was thrown into the non-stop activities of Frosh-O. I have never lifted so many things in my life or had so much dorm spirit, but it was all good fun and Frosh-O is way better the second time around. I gave an especially warm welcome to the girls who came from Ohio because I felt a sort of bond with them, being from the drive through state and all. However, one girl was waaaay too Ohio for my liking. She popped out of the car with an OSU shirt on and a Brutus Buckeye plush. After the fiesta bowl disaster of last January, this was quite an offense. We told her to leave Brutus behind and run to the bookstore to pick up a leprauchaun, but she refused as the buckeye plush had been given to her by an ex boyfriend. EX boyfriend? If he's an ex, leave him and his school memorabilia in Ohio! But then she gave us some buckeyes and all was well.
After Frosh-O ended and I had to stop bossing around the freshmen (it feels weird treating them like equals instead of campers), school got underway. Boring business classes abound, but I do have an awesome history of television class and an Italian class. I'm sticking with the business so I have a job, and because I like saying businasty.
In case you were questioning certain facebook changes or you haven't already heard, Dan and I broke up after getting back to school. I could write down some Kelly Clarkson lyrics or go on a feminist rant, but I feel like the whole situation can be summed up by saying that I'm heartbroken for the first time in my life, it sucks, and its completely unfair. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened between the last phone call over the summer and the return to school and I don't want to talk about it here. Athankyou. (Coping devices such as ice cream, hugs, or voodoo dolls would be greatly appreciated)
But this only means I'm single, and goodness knows what exciting blogalicious adventures that might bring. Why in fact, just the other night I was at a party (the type where I pack myself into a smelly dorm room and shout at the top of my lungs so my refusal of beer offers can be heard). The location was Alumni and a dear old friend (more like some guy I met last year who I call up when I want something to do because he always has something going on) was throwing a party in his room. After standing there for a while complaining to the other girls about how lame this party was (nevermind how lame we were for actually going to it), someone asked me to dance. Or rather, he asked me a series of indirect questions as I gave the most vague answers imaginable. Now, I don't like saying no to people, at least not directly, because then I feel like a bad person. I know that perhaps vague answers may just lead them on and hurt them more in the end, but the point is I don't feel like a jerk and that's what's important. Anywho, this guy comes up to me and says, "Do you like dancing?" I vaguely respond "Sometimes" He says "Well what kind of dancing do you like?" I say, "Oh, I don't know, most kinds." Dude: "Do you enjoy dancing?" Me: "I don't know I'm not very good." Pursuer "Oh come on, I'm sure you're a great dancer." The pursued "No, I'm not that great at dancing." Reluctant Randy "Don't you ever dance?" Vague Vixen "Yeah I dance, but just when no ones watching." Guy: "Well would you dance with me" Me, giving in "ummmmm.....ummmmm.....ok" Let the akward bump and grind begin. I didn't even last an entire song before I said that I had to meet my friends somewhere. That somewhere ended up being 2 feet away in the corner of the room. A simple "no thanks" may be a better option next time.
Caitlin said I looked like a terrorist one night because I had my hair pulled back and I looked "exotic and dangerous". Yeah, I'm running low on blog material.
Football season has started again and its magnificent. I mean, did anyone else see that Michigan State game? Simply amazing! Anyway, for the other Michigan game (grrrr) 9 other girls and myself painted ourselves green. I never realized how much fun being green could be since Kermit gave it such a bad rap, but it was awesome. People kept stopping us to take our picture and to pose with us. I finally accomplished my dream of experiencing what it feels like to be one of the Disney World characters. However, being painted green is obviously bad luck and we can never do it again. One of the people who stopped us, though, was this young fellow with his grandfather. He said that his grandfather played football for Notre Dame in the 50s and we were so awed and amazed that we took several pictures with him. Once we walked about, I realized that the young fellow could have totally been making that up. He could have nabbed some random guy from an alziemers home and brought him to the game so he could claim that he was a football player and get an in with the cute green college girls. What a sicko. What a great idea. I'm totally doing that one day.
I'm sick again. This is probably just one of the many colds I will get throughout the year. I have no idea why my immune system seems to hate me. I take care of myself better than most college students, yet I can't seem to get over a simple cold. I've had my current cold for 2 weeks now and it's showing no signs of relief. I've begun joking with people that I have TB, which is what I did last year, and I am always surprised at the number of people who actually believe me. This is probably going to get me in the end and I actually will have consumption and no one will believe me until I'm coughing up blood and then it's too late. Was that too graphic? Sorry, I've been watching lots of Nip/Tuck episodes and have become immune to the gore.
NDTV is off to a great start this year. Since all the dorms have cable now, not only can I watch Flavor of Love whenever I want, but all the students have access to NDTV (channel 53)! Or more realistically, students pause on NDTV for 3 seconds while flipping channels, but hey, they know we're out there. The club is really growing and I'm learning how to edit, so a lot of my time is going into NDTV. Also, a lot of my humor is going into that, so you should really tune into NDTV instead of reading this because the show is probably a lot funnier. Or is it.....
I saw Asian Chick at the dining hall!!!!! I noticed that she had writing on her shirt, but I unfortunately was not able to catch a glimpse of it as I have terrible eyesight and refuse to wear contacts or glasses. Sorry, that was really anticlimactic, but you were excited for a second, weren't you?
Sophomore year started with quite a flurry of events. I arrived at school and was thrown into the non-stop activities of Frosh-O. I have never lifted so many things in my life or had so much dorm spirit, but it was all good fun and Frosh-O is way better the second time around. I gave an especially warm welcome to the girls who came from Ohio because I felt a sort of bond with them, being from the drive through state and all. However, one girl was waaaay too Ohio for my liking. She popped out of the car with an OSU shirt on and a Brutus Buckeye plush. After the fiesta bowl disaster of last January, this was quite an offense. We told her to leave Brutus behind and run to the bookstore to pick up a leprauchaun, but she refused as the buckeye plush had been given to her by an ex boyfriend. EX boyfriend? If he's an ex, leave him and his school memorabilia in Ohio! But then she gave us some buckeyes and all was well.
After Frosh-O ended and I had to stop bossing around the freshmen (it feels weird treating them like equals instead of campers), school got underway. Boring business classes abound, but I do have an awesome history of television class and an Italian class. I'm sticking with the business so I have a job, and because I like saying businasty.
In case you were questioning certain facebook changes or you haven't already heard, Dan and I broke up after getting back to school. I could write down some Kelly Clarkson lyrics or go on a feminist rant, but I feel like the whole situation can be summed up by saying that I'm heartbroken for the first time in my life, it sucks, and its completely unfair. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened between the last phone call over the summer and the return to school and I don't want to talk about it here. Athankyou. (Coping devices such as ice cream, hugs, or voodoo dolls would be greatly appreciated)
But this only means I'm single, and goodness knows what exciting blogalicious adventures that might bring. Why in fact, just the other night I was at a party (the type where I pack myself into a smelly dorm room and shout at the top of my lungs so my refusal of beer offers can be heard). The location was Alumni and a dear old friend (more like some guy I met last year who I call up when I want something to do because he always has something going on) was throwing a party in his room. After standing there for a while complaining to the other girls about how lame this party was (nevermind how lame we were for actually going to it), someone asked me to dance. Or rather, he asked me a series of indirect questions as I gave the most vague answers imaginable. Now, I don't like saying no to people, at least not directly, because then I feel like a bad person. I know that perhaps vague answers may just lead them on and hurt them more in the end, but the point is I don't feel like a jerk and that's what's important. Anywho, this guy comes up to me and says, "Do you like dancing?" I vaguely respond "Sometimes" He says "Well what kind of dancing do you like?" I say, "Oh, I don't know, most kinds." Dude: "Do you enjoy dancing?" Me: "I don't know I'm not very good." Pursuer "Oh come on, I'm sure you're a great dancer." The pursued "No, I'm not that great at dancing." Reluctant Randy "Don't you ever dance?" Vague Vixen "Yeah I dance, but just when no ones watching." Guy: "Well would you dance with me" Me, giving in "ummmmm.....ummmmm.....ok" Let the akward bump and grind begin. I didn't even last an entire song before I said that I had to meet my friends somewhere. That somewhere ended up being 2 feet away in the corner of the room. A simple "no thanks" may be a better option next time.
Caitlin said I looked like a terrorist one night because I had my hair pulled back and I looked "exotic and dangerous". Yeah, I'm running low on blog material.
Football season has started again and its magnificent. I mean, did anyone else see that Michigan State game? Simply amazing! Anyway, for the other Michigan game (grrrr) 9 other girls and myself painted ourselves green. I never realized how much fun being green could be since Kermit gave it such a bad rap, but it was awesome. People kept stopping us to take our picture and to pose with us. I finally accomplished my dream of experiencing what it feels like to be one of the Disney World characters. However, being painted green is obviously bad luck and we can never do it again. One of the people who stopped us, though, was this young fellow with his grandfather. He said that his grandfather played football for Notre Dame in the 50s and we were so awed and amazed that we took several pictures with him. Once we walked about, I realized that the young fellow could have totally been making that up. He could have nabbed some random guy from an alziemers home and brought him to the game so he could claim that he was a football player and get an in with the cute green college girls. What a sicko. What a great idea. I'm totally doing that one day.
I'm sick again. This is probably just one of the many colds I will get throughout the year. I have no idea why my immune system seems to hate me. I take care of myself better than most college students, yet I can't seem to get over a simple cold. I've had my current cold for 2 weeks now and it's showing no signs of relief. I've begun joking with people that I have TB, which is what I did last year, and I am always surprised at the number of people who actually believe me. This is probably going to get me in the end and I actually will have consumption and no one will believe me until I'm coughing up blood and then it's too late. Was that too graphic? Sorry, I've been watching lots of Nip/Tuck episodes and have become immune to the gore.
NDTV is off to a great start this year. Since all the dorms have cable now, not only can I watch Flavor of Love whenever I want, but all the students have access to NDTV (channel 53)! Or more realistically, students pause on NDTV for 3 seconds while flipping channels, but hey, they know we're out there. The club is really growing and I'm learning how to edit, so a lot of my time is going into NDTV. Also, a lot of my humor is going into that, so you should really tune into NDTV instead of reading this because the show is probably a lot funnier. Or is it.....
I saw Asian Chick at the dining hall!!!!! I noticed that she had writing on her shirt, but I unfortunately was not able to catch a glimpse of it as I have terrible eyesight and refuse to wear contacts or glasses. Sorry, that was really anticlimactic, but you were excited for a second, weren't you?
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Escaped From the Nut House, but Still Pretty Crazy
Twelve more days until I'm back at my home under the dome! I've waited all summer to go back, so of course, upon realization of this dream, I finally find things to appreciate around here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not wishing that summer could be extended and I could spend another month in Stow, but I'm thinking that I should have appreciated it more. I get to sleep in a huge bed in a room all to myself. I get to lay out in the sun on a lovely deck in my backyard. I don't have to go to class. However nice these comforts are, though, I suppose I have had my fill of them. I miss my friends and what is the comfort of a bed when compared to the comfort of friends? Unfortunately, there are some things that I wanted to do this summer like go to Cleveland or take a bike ride with my dad, but I guess summer isn't complete without incomplete goals. I guess what really got me thinking about missed opportunities this summer was a fantastic evening spent with Metzger and Colleen. Actually, it was more like 12 hours straight with Metzger. It was probably the best night I've had this summer. It was one of those times that I just came away honestly thinking "I had fun!" instead of trying to convince myself that these people could replace my other friends. It's too bad that the three of us hadn't spent more time together this summer, but I'm going to blame that mostly on Colleen's lack of a driver's license and her living in Wadsworth.
Wow, that was a bunch of rambling nonsence. So I went to Boston a few weeks ago. It was a nice family trip. Saw the aquarium, ate in Little Italy, went to same quaint New England towns, got lost for 2 hours on the stupid Massachusettes roads (rotaries are the devil). The highlight of the trip for me was when a homeless guy called me a super model. He just wanted my money, but it still made me feel all warm and fuzzy. When I was out with Metzger and Colleen, a few of Wadstucky's finest men (meaning icky) looked the three of us over and said "You girls tell your boyfriends they are lucky guys." I am just getting the best compliments from the best people lately. Next thing you know, a truck driver is going to tell me I should be in them moving picture shows.
Metzger just left my house, actually, and is headed to a dairy farm in Idaho for an internship (she wants to be a vet). She will have no internet so she probably will not read this before she leaves, but in case she does, good luck and have fun with the cows, Metz! She's crazy.
Today was my last day at Coconuts. Wait, let me repeat that in a more appropriate manner. I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more annoying people talking about stupid music! No more having to make stuff up on the spot just to appease the customer's appetite for musical knowledge! No more Bob smelling like Fritos and cigarettes! I hate customer service! I'm probably going back over Christmas break...
This is probably my last post from Stow, unless something crazy happens and I just have to post it here so that Tomas and Metzger will get around to reading it in a couple weeks. Look for Boston pictures to show up on the photo bucket. I'm preparing for a week of drawn out good byes, complete with a family pontoon boat ride. And in case my Mom decides to read this (in a bold move of stupidity, I gave her the web address) I will miss home, and not just for its comforts, but for my family. And don't worry, Mom, I'll call you and email you just like last year. Though I can't promise that I'll call you every single time I drive and arrive at my destination safely. That's just little much. So long from Stow, everone.
Wow, that was a bunch of rambling nonsence. So I went to Boston a few weeks ago. It was a nice family trip. Saw the aquarium, ate in Little Italy, went to same quaint New England towns, got lost for 2 hours on the stupid Massachusettes roads (rotaries are the devil). The highlight of the trip for me was when a homeless guy called me a super model. He just wanted my money, but it still made me feel all warm and fuzzy. When I was out with Metzger and Colleen, a few of Wadstucky's finest men (meaning icky) looked the three of us over and said "You girls tell your boyfriends they are lucky guys." I am just getting the best compliments from the best people lately. Next thing you know, a truck driver is going to tell me I should be in them moving picture shows.
Metzger just left my house, actually, and is headed to a dairy farm in Idaho for an internship (she wants to be a vet). She will have no internet so she probably will not read this before she leaves, but in case she does, good luck and have fun with the cows, Metz! She's crazy.
Today was my last day at Coconuts. Wait, let me repeat that in a more appropriate manner. I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more annoying people talking about stupid music! No more having to make stuff up on the spot just to appease the customer's appetite for musical knowledge! No more Bob smelling like Fritos and cigarettes! I hate customer service! I'm probably going back over Christmas break...
This is probably my last post from Stow, unless something crazy happens and I just have to post it here so that Tomas and Metzger will get around to reading it in a couple weeks. Look for Boston pictures to show up on the photo bucket. I'm preparing for a week of drawn out good byes, complete with a family pontoon boat ride. And in case my Mom decides to read this (in a bold move of stupidity, I gave her the web address) I will miss home, and not just for its comforts, but for my family. And don't worry, Mom, I'll call you and email you just like last year. Though I can't promise that I'll call you every single time I drive and arrive at my destination safely. That's just little much. So long from Stow, everone.
Friday, July 14, 2006
I Suck at Being Emo
My original plan for tonight was not to write a blog but to paint my nails black and be really emo and write emo things after watching a pretty emo movie. This is what the boredom of Ohio has led me to. Well, I watched the movie Thumbsucker. Not as good as I had hoped, but it was alright. I went to paint my nails black but only had dark brown nail polish, so now it looks like I dipped my fingers in chocolate cake batter. Since my nails are still drying, it's hard to write things with paper and pen so I thought I'd type up a new blog entry. Yay for Friday night.
I spent my Fourth of July working at the nut hut, but it was probably one of the most fun 4th of a month I've had in a while. I rode my bike to work two hours early (don't judge too quickly, I'm about to explain why I went to work so early without clocking in). The Stow parade starts off from the parking lot of the plaza where Coconuts is and it starts at 10. The store opened at noon that day, hence my arriving early. Lindsey, my then manager (she has since resigned), and I sat in the air conditioned window of our little CD store and watched the parade go by. It was one of my favorite viewings of the parade, simply because I felt so brave behind my glass window. So brave, in fact, that I blew a kiss to my favorite superhero--Batman--who caught it and seemed very flattered. Move over Robin. Batman wants me. Once we finally opened the store (we decided to unlock the doors around 12:15), we commenced the best day of work ever. I went to Big Lots to pick up some junk food and Lindsey brought the board games TriBond and The 90s Game. That was my day. We somehow managed to sell over plan, but this is no credit of our own. Once I got home, I continued the board game playing frenzie with my parents and Pop Culture Trivial pursuit. Then my family morphed into rednecks and my brother shot illegal fireworks off in the front yard while all the neighbor kids gathered in amazement.
Nothing too notable has happened since then. Just chilling at home and working at the nut. I suppose I do have another nut story. It was 15 minutes to close and my manager was in the back doing end of the day stuff, leaving me the only one in the actual store. So of course, there's a line of 4 people when we haven't had customers all day. I'm trying to ring them up as quickly as possible when the phone rings. I answer it and this guy says, "Hey I'm looking for a Dave Matthews Band CD" and I respond, "Sure I can find that, but I'll be with you in just a moment." I finish up the transaction I was in the middle of when the customer called and pick up the phone again. "I'm sorry about that, are you still there?" I politely ask. "Yeah, but I really didn't think it would take that long" Jerky McJerkerson retorts. "I'm sorry sir but I was in the middle of a transaction. Now what album were you looking for?" I say, trying to remain calm. "You know what? Forget it, it doesn't even matter," says the angry man. I tried convincing the man to stay on the phone and reassuring him that I could help him with whatever he was looking for, but he remained angry and unwilling to be helped. Just as I was about to say goodbye and hang up, the guy on the phone says, "Haha just kidding this is Dan!" Let us pause for a moment. Dan makes a long distance call to a Coconuts store in Ohio simply to trick me into thinking I was getting harassed by a mean customer. Oh, he's good. You can imagine my shock. I pause on the phone for a moment then proceed to call him a jerk and some other choice words then laugh and say "hold on." I put down the phone and go to help the customer I somehow did not notice and he timidly says "I was going to have you look up some CDs, but if you're busy, that's ok, I can just leave." I scared a customer. Yessssssssss. Thank you Dan. By the way, I explained to the customer that I had been tricked by a friend and proceeded to help him with his CDs so don't worry.
Ugh, this is awful. My blogs are turning into lame work stories. I need to get out of the torment that is retail!!! It's only making me hate people and I was already cynical so there's no way I can come out of this alright. Oh well. One month left and in a week I head to Boston! Until next time, my faithful readers.
I spent my Fourth of July working at the nut hut, but it was probably one of the most fun 4th of a month I've had in a while. I rode my bike to work two hours early (don't judge too quickly, I'm about to explain why I went to work so early without clocking in). The Stow parade starts off from the parking lot of the plaza where Coconuts is and it starts at 10. The store opened at noon that day, hence my arriving early. Lindsey, my then manager (she has since resigned), and I sat in the air conditioned window of our little CD store and watched the parade go by. It was one of my favorite viewings of the parade, simply because I felt so brave behind my glass window. So brave, in fact, that I blew a kiss to my favorite superhero--Batman--who caught it and seemed very flattered. Move over Robin. Batman wants me. Once we finally opened the store (we decided to unlock the doors around 12:15), we commenced the best day of work ever. I went to Big Lots to pick up some junk food and Lindsey brought the board games TriBond and The 90s Game. That was my day. We somehow managed to sell over plan, but this is no credit of our own. Once I got home, I continued the board game playing frenzie with my parents and Pop Culture Trivial pursuit. Then my family morphed into rednecks and my brother shot illegal fireworks off in the front yard while all the neighbor kids gathered in amazement.
Nothing too notable has happened since then. Just chilling at home and working at the nut. I suppose I do have another nut story. It was 15 minutes to close and my manager was in the back doing end of the day stuff, leaving me the only one in the actual store. So of course, there's a line of 4 people when we haven't had customers all day. I'm trying to ring them up as quickly as possible when the phone rings. I answer it and this guy says, "Hey I'm looking for a Dave Matthews Band CD" and I respond, "Sure I can find that, but I'll be with you in just a moment." I finish up the transaction I was in the middle of when the customer called and pick up the phone again. "I'm sorry about that, are you still there?" I politely ask. "Yeah, but I really didn't think it would take that long" Jerky McJerkerson retorts. "I'm sorry sir but I was in the middle of a transaction. Now what album were you looking for?" I say, trying to remain calm. "You know what? Forget it, it doesn't even matter," says the angry man. I tried convincing the man to stay on the phone and reassuring him that I could help him with whatever he was looking for, but he remained angry and unwilling to be helped. Just as I was about to say goodbye and hang up, the guy on the phone says, "Haha just kidding this is Dan!" Let us pause for a moment. Dan makes a long distance call to a Coconuts store in Ohio simply to trick me into thinking I was getting harassed by a mean customer. Oh, he's good. You can imagine my shock. I pause on the phone for a moment then proceed to call him a jerk and some other choice words then laugh and say "hold on." I put down the phone and go to help the customer I somehow did not notice and he timidly says "I was going to have you look up some CDs, but if you're busy, that's ok, I can just leave." I scared a customer. Yessssssssss. Thank you Dan. By the way, I explained to the customer that I had been tricked by a friend and proceeded to help him with his CDs so don't worry.
Ugh, this is awful. My blogs are turning into lame work stories. I need to get out of the torment that is retail!!! It's only making me hate people and I was already cynical so there's no way I can come out of this alright. Oh well. One month left and in a week I head to Boston! Until next time, my faithful readers.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
I Heart NY
Ok so I lied about posting the next day about New York. I'm dreadfully sorry. I hope I haven't betrayed your trust too much. Just to make up for it, this will be the first post complete with pictures. On with the show...
I left from Akron Canton airport and arrived in LaGuardia airport on June 19th. This was the first time I had ever traveled by myself, and I'll admit that I was a little nervous, but I found that if I just wear mascara and smile enough, people will help me with anything. Yay for being a girl. It was odd going between the Akron airport and the NYC one because they are so entirely different. While going through security at Akron, I forgot my ID at the beginning of security and didn't realize until I was already through. I asked the security guard if I could grab it, sure he would say no to me running back through security, but he simply shrugged and said "go ahead." At LaGuardia, there was a woman in security who stood there for the sole purpose of simply yelling constantly to have IDs ready and no sharp objects in carry ons. She was scary.
After my flight landed, stage one of nervousness was gone. Then stage two began: meeting the family. I had already met Dan's father and sister, but I had yet to meet the mother. It wasn't that I was nervous to meet Dan's mother in particular, I'm just nervous about meeting any boy's mother because they tend to be protective. At least that's what I'm assuming about most mothers. Mine isn't too worried about Alex yet. Anyway, stage two of nervousness melted quickly, as I walked in the door of the Canders' household and received an instant hug from Mrs. Canders. The whole Canders family is probably one of the all around nicest families I have met. I mean, in most families, you expect at least one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch, but this was not the case. Ok, I'm done talking about the Canders family, but I will say one more thing: Mrs. Canders kind of went crazy with getting new sheets and a blanket for the guest bed, but that was the most amazingly soft blanket in the world. I do believe it was woven from angel hair.
So here's the rundown of activities (and finally some of those promised pictures). On Monday, we went to Port Jefferson and ate ice cream. On Tuesday, we went into New York City (add me smiling really big and jumping up and down). The city was amazing--we saw a show (Avenue Q), ate dinner at Jekyl and Hydes (scary Disney crammed into a restaurant), went to Central Park, and a bunch of other stuff. Dan insisted on holding my hand the whole time. Now I know what you're thinking "Stop being so cutesy, I want to vomit, ewww hand holding big deal." This wasn't the romantic type of hand holding. It was more like Dan screaming "HOLD MY HAND!" for fear of losing me and having to answer to my mother, who had talked to him before I left, making sure he'd protect me in the city (apparently I'm a paralyzed 5 year old). Just to let you know, he didn't lose me once, but my hand was really sweaty and gross.
This may look similar to the last one, but trust me, it is not. This one was taken by a professional, or at least a man who really wanted to be one. We asked a man in the park to take our picture. Without a word, he took the camera and began to line up the shot, a process that took several minutes and several different positions. So here's the result of all that.
Then after a wonderful four days (and I do mean wonderful--allow me to gush a moment and say that I had an amazing time with Dan) I had to leave.
I left from Akron Canton airport and arrived in LaGuardia airport on June 19th. This was the first time I had ever traveled by myself, and I'll admit that I was a little nervous, but I found that if I just wear mascara and smile enough, people will help me with anything. Yay for being a girl. It was odd going between the Akron airport and the NYC one because they are so entirely different. While going through security at Akron, I forgot my ID at the beginning of security and didn't realize until I was already through. I asked the security guard if I could grab it, sure he would say no to me running back through security, but he simply shrugged and said "go ahead." At LaGuardia, there was a woman in security who stood there for the sole purpose of simply yelling constantly to have IDs ready and no sharp objects in carry ons. She was scary.
After my flight landed, stage one of nervousness was gone. Then stage two began: meeting the family. I had already met Dan's father and sister, but I had yet to meet the mother. It wasn't that I was nervous to meet Dan's mother in particular, I'm just nervous about meeting any boy's mother because they tend to be protective. At least that's what I'm assuming about most mothers. Mine isn't too worried about Alex yet. Anyway, stage two of nervousness melted quickly, as I walked in the door of the Canders' household and received an instant hug from Mrs. Canders. The whole Canders family is probably one of the all around nicest families I have met. I mean, in most families, you expect at least one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch, but this was not the case. Ok, I'm done talking about the Canders family, but I will say one more thing: Mrs. Canders kind of went crazy with getting new sheets and a blanket for the guest bed, but that was the most amazingly soft blanket in the world. I do believe it was woven from angel hair.
So here's the rundown of activities (and finally some of those promised pictures). On Monday, we went to Port Jefferson and ate ice cream. On Tuesday, we went into New York City (add me smiling really big and jumping up and down). The city was amazing--we saw a show (Avenue Q), ate dinner at Jekyl and Hydes (scary Disney crammed into a restaurant), went to Central Park, and a bunch of other stuff. Dan insisted on holding my hand the whole time. Now I know what you're thinking "Stop being so cutesy, I want to vomit, ewww hand holding big deal." This wasn't the romantic type of hand holding. It was more like Dan screaming "HOLD MY HAND!" for fear of losing me and having to answer to my mother, who had talked to him before I left, making sure he'd protect me in the city (apparently I'm a paralyzed 5 year old). Just to let you know, he didn't lose me once, but my hand was really sweaty and gross.
This is probably my favorite picture ever, not that you care, but ya know, just thought I'd share.
This may look similar to the last one, but trust me, it is not. This one was taken by a professional, or at least a man who really wanted to be one. We asked a man in the park to take our picture. Without a word, he took the camera and began to line up the shot, a process that took several minutes and several different positions. So here's the result of all that.
Dan insisted I take a picture with one of the guys outside of FAO Schwartz, but I agreed to it only if he would let me take a picture of him doing the same. He agreed to the terms, but went back on his word when he took this picture and ran away.
By the way, some random guy in the city called Dan a pimp daddy. Just thought I'd share.
On Wednesday, we went to Dan's dad's airforce base. I got to check out a helicopter and a plane. They were big and had lots of buttons. This is why I will never have a career involving machines. But the base really was super cool. As we drove up to it, the big electronic sign in front said "Welcome E. Yahner." That's right. Be jealous. 
That's the inside of a plane.
That's the outside of a helicopter.
After the base, we went to the beach. It was the perfect beach day ever and probably my favorite thing we did. I kept trying to get Dan to throw his cell phone in the ocean every time it rang, kind of like the Coronas commercials, but he refuse and we had no Coronas, so I guess it would be kind of stupid because it's not like we'd have an excuse like "Hey, we were drunk so we threw the cell phone into the ocean!" Yeah, I guess that only works if you actually have a Corona.
That night I met all his friends, who were all very friendly, but seemed to think Ohio was all farm country and much farther away than it actually is. Just to let you all know, I live near no major farms. Ohio is just constructed differently than New York. Ohio has a lot of cities scattered around the state with rural areas in between. New York has one ginormous city, but what is in upstate New York? Seriously, does anyone care about the rest of New York? I thought not. Respect the big OH. Anyway, the best part of the night was that RUPA JOSE came over to Dan's house! As if seeing Dan wasn't enough, I got to see my favorite little soul searcher. It was kind of strange, seeing her outside of the Notre Dame setting, but it was so awesome to get to see her and it just reminded me of how much I miss my Notre Dame.
Thursday was a sad day because it was the day I left. Dan and I went to a little town near his house and just sort of hung out. There was a trail and we found this statue.
Then after a wonderful four days (and I do mean wonderful--allow me to gush a moment and say that I had an amazing time with Dan) I had to leave.
That's me and Dan in front of his house with my bags right before I left.
Getting to the airport was a little hectic because traffic was so bad and I got there at 6:15 when my flight left at 6:55, so it was a rather rushed good bye at the airport, though that ended up being unnecessary since my flight got delayed. However, once I was on the plane, the one thing I had hoped to avoid while flying occured. Babies. I had to sit next to babies. Fifteen month old twins, in fact. One sat in front of me while the other sat to my left. I tried to read a book, but the one on my side kept turning the pages, and every time I looked up, the one in front of me was peering over the seat, threatening to drool on the novel. We got ginger snaps during the flight and as I went to take a bite, the baby snatched it out of my hand for itself. Babies are cute, but when they're not yours and you're in the air with no sign of escape, they are slightly unbearable. Fortunately, these babies were not criers until we started to land, and they were cute, so that made it a little more bearable. Anyway, I landed safely and went home.
So that is my New York story. I visited Dan, even got to see Rupa, and had a wonderful time. Now I'm just left with missing ND far too much, but that's nothing a phone call and looking at some pictures can't remedy. At least for a moment. Until August, I'll be in a Notre Dame state of mind.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Welcome to the Nut House
I thought that since I would have so much more time on my hands this summer, I would blog a lot more. This is not so. It seems thatin my lack of things to do, I have become lazier. I see that there is nothing to do, so I do nothing. I guess that's what summer is really about, though. That and acquiring some pimp status for the upcoming school year (pimp status=money). The way I go about getting my pimp status is, as you have read in my last post, by working at Coconuts, the entertainment store.
There are three managers that I work with. Jen is the head manager and she's pretty cool. Lindsy is a 5th year Kent State student and does not care about the store or selling CDs at all, which makes her the best manager ever. Unfortunately she is quitting in a few weeks. Bob is old and smelly due to his constant consumption of cigarettes, Fritos, and Mountain Dew Code Red. Though he is my least favorite of the three managers to work with, he is definitely the most interesting. He thinks he knows everything about music, when really, he's just an old stoner who believes that Laurie Anderson is one of the great artists of our time and that the people of Stow will enjoy hearing her play her cassette tape strung violin over our stereo system. Bob has called me a fetus on several occasions, in reference to my taste in music. He has a girlfriend whom he calls his "pooky la la" which I can only assume is due to the fact that she is imaginary, as I do not see anyone finding Bob desirable.
But enough about the staff, let's talk about the customers! My favorite frequenter of Coconuts is Myron. He comes in several times a week simply to talk. He never buys anything, though he does look for movies but once he finds them, always says they are too expensive. He recently got fired from Flynn's tires (Hoban folk, let's pause for a giggle at the irony) and now works at Speedy doing car maintenance. His parting words are always about what he is going to eat, which is usually a steak, though sometimes it is two giant buckets of everything from KFC. My favorite Myron moment is when he pulled up outside the store and honked his horn until Jen and I opened the door, after which he took a picture of us with his camera phone and drove away. You might think that Myron would get annoying, but actually, he annoys other customers more than he annoys the staff. One woman came in and bought a movie and Myron followed her out asking her if he could watch the movie with her. The woman left looking frightened and probably reaching for her pepper spray, but once she had gone, Myron said, "That lady is probably a hooker." She was dressed like a soccer mom and drove a VW. Definitely not a hooker.
While Coconuts may seem like a glamorous job with enough characters to start a prime time sitcom, in actuality, it sucks. I guess sucks is a strong word, but it is definitely not the most enjoyable thing in the world given it's boring, dingy atmosphere and near minimum wage. But hey, it keeps me busy this summer and it earns me that coveted pimp status.
Since I haven't blogged in a while, I have so much to catch you up on. I actually just got back from a four day trip to visit Dan on Long Island. It was by far one of the best times I have ever had, but it only left me missing Dan more and wishing I was back at my home under the dome. But I feel that Coconuts craziness and my New York excursion are too much to put into one post so I will probably have a New York post in by tomorrow, just so I can split it up for you. I don't want your eyes to get tired. See, I'm just that nice. Always thinking of you.
There are three managers that I work with. Jen is the head manager and she's pretty cool. Lindsy is a 5th year Kent State student and does not care about the store or selling CDs at all, which makes her the best manager ever. Unfortunately she is quitting in a few weeks. Bob is old and smelly due to his constant consumption of cigarettes, Fritos, and Mountain Dew Code Red. Though he is my least favorite of the three managers to work with, he is definitely the most interesting. He thinks he knows everything about music, when really, he's just an old stoner who believes that Laurie Anderson is one of the great artists of our time and that the people of Stow will enjoy hearing her play her cassette tape strung violin over our stereo system. Bob has called me a fetus on several occasions, in reference to my taste in music. He has a girlfriend whom he calls his "pooky la la" which I can only assume is due to the fact that she is imaginary, as I do not see anyone finding Bob desirable.
But enough about the staff, let's talk about the customers! My favorite frequenter of Coconuts is Myron. He comes in several times a week simply to talk. He never buys anything, though he does look for movies but once he finds them, always says they are too expensive. He recently got fired from Flynn's tires (Hoban folk, let's pause for a giggle at the irony) and now works at Speedy doing car maintenance. His parting words are always about what he is going to eat, which is usually a steak, though sometimes it is two giant buckets of everything from KFC. My favorite Myron moment is when he pulled up outside the store and honked his horn until Jen and I opened the door, after which he took a picture of us with his camera phone and drove away. You might think that Myron would get annoying, but actually, he annoys other customers more than he annoys the staff. One woman came in and bought a movie and Myron followed her out asking her if he could watch the movie with her. The woman left looking frightened and probably reaching for her pepper spray, but once she had gone, Myron said, "That lady is probably a hooker." She was dressed like a soccer mom and drove a VW. Definitely not a hooker.
While Coconuts may seem like a glamorous job with enough characters to start a prime time sitcom, in actuality, it sucks. I guess sucks is a strong word, but it is definitely not the most enjoyable thing in the world given it's boring, dingy atmosphere and near minimum wage. But hey, it keeps me busy this summer and it earns me that coveted pimp status.
Since I haven't blogged in a while, I have so much to catch you up on. I actually just got back from a four day trip to visit Dan on Long Island. It was by far one of the best times I have ever had, but it only left me missing Dan more and wishing I was back at my home under the dome. But I feel that Coconuts craziness and my New York excursion are too much to put into one post so I will probably have a New York post in by tomorrow, just so I can split it up for you. I don't want your eyes to get tired. See, I'm just that nice. Always thinking of you.
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