I love shoes. Given that I am a 25-year-old woman who grew up in the Sex & the City age, that is probably the most cliché thing I’ve ever written. However, I don’t love shoes because the clicking of high heels on a shopping mall floor makes me feel empowered and it’s not like couture pumps make me hand over my rent money. I love shoes simply because I spend a lot of time looking at them.
If you stare at something long enough, you start to feel very strongly about it, either negatively or positively. Try it. Stare at a random household object, like a spatula or a power outlet, for about 6 hours and you’ll definitely develop strong emotions toward it (or potentially toward me for suggesting you do this). In the case of shoes, I look at my own so often that life would be miserable if I hated them. So I love them. I don’t just sit in front of my closet and stare at my shoes for hours, I look at them quite often during the day while walking to my car, waiting for the elevator, sitting in a meeting, talking on the phone, ordering food at Subway. Why am I always looking down?
1) I am an introvert.
Don’t mistake this for shy. Introverts are not shy, they just prefer small groups of people they really like instead of large groups of strangers where they have to make small talk. Introverts are usually more intelligent and interesting. Think about some famous introverts—Beethoven, J.D. Salinger, Quasimodo—all captivating individuals. Now think of some famous extroverts—Katherine Heigl, The Situation, Donald Trump—all thin-haired dumb dumbs. Being an introvert is great until you are in a situation where you might run into people you know. Like work. Walking around the halls of the office is brutal. Typically, I’m walking with a purpose—I have somewhere to be and I don’t want to stop for small talk. However, walking the halls runs the risk of coming across a friendly, extroverted coworker who wants to stop and chat. That is why I look at my shoes. If I don’t make eye contact, you can’t initiate a conversation. If you recognize the top of my head because you’ve seen it so much and try to talk to me anyway, I will keep walking because looking down gives the impression of being deep in thought. I imagine people think, as I walk by “Wow, she must be wrestling with some deep emotions or solving a great world issue. It’s amazing how she can block the world out. What a beautiful mind. She’ll probably be a poet one day.”
2) I have poor eyesight
In 5th grade, I had eye surgery to correct congenital cataracts. In addition to giving me synthetic lenses that make my eyes “glow” like a cat’s, this gave me better eyesight. Better, but not perfect. I still have to wear glasses, but this is a challenge in weather. When I walk outside, my head is always down and my eyes are pointed at my shoes. I have a feeling most four-eyes would tell you this, because getting rain or snow on your glasses is a pain. You can’t see without your glasses so you have to keep them on, but if you look straight ahead during even the slightest drizzle, your glasses get clouded and spotty. Then, when you finally reach shelter, you look like a total nerd with your spotty glasses. Looking down helps you keep your cool and prevents glasses from getting totally drenched.
My glasses give me great eyesight, but they do nothing for my observation skills. In college, I would complain that my schedule was so opposite all my friends because I never saw them on my way to class. It turns out a lot of them walked past me, waved at me, shouted my name, tried to trip me and I completely failed to notice. I believe I have a condition called face blindness where your brain cannot distinguish facial features enough to recognize different people. I saw a story about a guy who had it on 60 Minutes, or I made it up, I’m not sure. Either way, it’s socially inhibiting so instead of facing the problem head-on, I deal with it face down. As mentioned above, staring at my shoes prevents any eye contact, which in this case, avoids any social awkwardness from looking directly at a dear friend and walking right past her. If I have done this to you, I apologize. One day, there might be a cure for face blindness, but probably not since I made it up.
3) I am clumsy.
I know, this sounds like a Bella Swan cop-out (yeah, I made a Twilight reference) but I truly am uncoordinated. I was on the basketball team in 5th and 8th grades and between the two years I made a total of one basket. I fell off my bike and scraped my knee when I was 15. I walked into several screen doors at various high school graduation parties (why is the food always on the porch???). You can imagine how graceful I am in a pair of heels. Since I’m looking at them the majority of the day, I choose shoes that are pretty. These aren’t usually ballet flats. I really admire women who can casually walk around in stilettos like their wearing slippers. In the middle of summer, I will go to work wearing my Ugg boots and change into my high heels once I’m firmly planted at my desk. When I have to make the trek to the bathroom or head down the hall to a meeting, I keep my eyes glued to my shoes. Any misstep and I could end up face down on that low-grade carpet. Even in flats, I have to watch my step. My shoes come untied a lot and I trip over absolutely nothing. I’m basically a toddler with shoes that don’t Velcro.
My love of shoes runs deeper than just the materialistic side of it. Staring at my shoes gets me out of a lot of awkward situations, or that’s how I like to think of it. All this downward looking probably makes me appear more awkward than if I would just look up and own my hatred of small talk and misty glasses. However, I’m pretty sure it’s giving me a spine problem popularly being diagnosed as text spine, so that’s pretty cool. My back condition is as trendy as shoes.
